Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Currently, the voting age is 18. Some people think the voting age should be changed to 21. Write an op-ed piece in which you argue for or against changing the voting age to 21. v.1

Currently, the voting age is 18. Some people think the voting age should be changed to 21. Write an op-ed piece in which you argue for or against changing the voting age to 21. v. 1
Today is an era of globalization and modernization and technology play a significant role. Some people believe that because of technology we have seen a wide gap between the rich and poor people. While, an army of people observes that, technology, plays a vital role to bring the rich and poor community together. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument, and provide evidence why technology enhances the gap between the wealthy and a derived class. To begin with, a wide range of products is available in the market, that's based on technology. People from the higher class easily bought expensive products as compared to the poor class community because they have money. Second, Wealthy pupil also completes their work in a time by the use of computers and other electronic devices. But, lack of knowledge and less availability, poor people can’t afford expensive items. For instance, According to Hindustan Times, the gap between the rich and the poor people increases because of the advancement in technology. Therefore, Technology is responsible to widen the gap between the two. On the opposite side, some people claim that technology is helpful for both localities. They also believe that with the help of mobile phones, people can easily communicate with each other. They also think rich and poor people can also entertain themselves by sitting on a single roof like cinema houses. This is possible only because of the technology. So, according to them, technology helps to bring the two communities together. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that although technology brings two classes together. But, it increases the gap between the two, as rich people have money and they can easily buy the product that is based on technology, however; poor people cannot.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
is an era of globalization and modernization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
play a significant role.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While, an army of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
observes that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, plays a vital role to bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
community together. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument, and provide evidence why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
enhances the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the wealthy and a derived
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a wide range of products is available in the market, that's based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
from the higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
expensive products as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have money. Second, Wealthy pupil
also
completes their work in a time by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers and other electronic devices.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, lack of knowledge and less availability,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can’t afford expensive items.
For instance
, According to Hindustan Times, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
increases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is responsible to widen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the two.

On the opposite side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is helpful for both localities. They
also
believe that with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of mobile phones,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
communicate with each other. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
entertain themselves by sitting on a single roof like cinema
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. This is possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, according to them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to bring the two communities together.

To put it in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
brings two classes together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it increases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the two, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the product that
is based
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
however
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Currently, the voting age is 18. Some people think the voting age should be changed to 21. Write an op-ed piece in which you argue for or against changing the voting age to 21. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts