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Nowadays many animal species are becoming extinct Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem others believe human beings are more important Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Nowadays many animal species are becoming extinct Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem others believe human beings are more important 1
Prison sentences and on which circumstances, these sentences are used have become highly contentious issues. Some people argue that a prison sentence is the most effective way when it comes to deal with crimes and criminals; while others have the opinion that criminals should be supported educationally, socially and economically. I mostly agree that different ways should be applied rather than prison sentences. However, I think that whether a criminal is sentenced to prison or supported with different ways depends on the type of the crime. One one hand, each crime should have a punishment regardless of its type and the way it is committed, which is a must when placing an order and trust in a society. It is the belief in justice that makes people live peacefully knowing that every crime has its own punishment thus preventing he majority of people from becoming violent. On the other hand, alternative routes could be followed for criminals except for certain crimes which are murder, child abuse and hate crime. They should be offered some ways rather than prison such as rehabilitation, public service, education, job offerings and social adaptation that could help them adapt to the society and be a part of it. A recent research conducted by The United Nations Commission on Crime Prevention has stated that in many countries, imprisonment rates are rising each day and there will be no place in the next decade if the policy is not altered. Leaving people in isolation in prisons, to me, could not make significant changes. Instead, criminals should be allowed to get an education to help them find job opportunities and if needed psychological assistance has to be given. In conclusion, there are three crimes that do not allow any solution but prison. Nevertheless, in my honest opinion, other criminals should be subsidised with varied facilities to place them in society thus leading their lives away from violence.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
and on which circumstances, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
have become
highly
contentious issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
is the most effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
; while others have the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should
be supported
educationally
,
socially
and
economically
. I
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
should
be applied
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
is sentenced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
or supported with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
depends on the type of the crime.

Possible typo: you repeated a word
One one
hand, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should have a punishment regardless of its type and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
it
is committed
, which is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
when placing an order and trust in a society. It is the belief in justice that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
peacefully
knowing that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
punishment
thus
preventing
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'he'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
he majority
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from becoming violent.

On the other hand
, alternative routes could
be followed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
which are murder, child abuse and hate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. They should
be offered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
such as rehabilitation, public service, education, job offerings and social adaptation that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them adapt to the society and be a part of it. A recent research conducted by The United Nations Commission on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
Prevention has stated that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, imprisonment rates are rising each day and there will be no place in the
next
decade if the policy is not altered. Leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in isolation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
, to me, could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
Instead
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an education to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them find job opportunities and if needed psychological assistance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

In conclusion
, there are three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
that do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
any solution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
Nevertheless
, in my honest opinion, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidised' is British English.
subsidised
with varied facilities to place them in society
thus
leading their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
away from violence.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many animal species are becoming extinct Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem others believe human beings are more important 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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