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Some people think that cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe that this is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe that this is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. v. 1
Nowadays, tourism is considered as a boon for a country’s economy. It plays a pivotal role in a country’s economy since it is considered the largest employer and generator of foreign exchange for many countries. It is often argued that cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making tourist attractions, whilst others disagree and think that it is the only method to save such traditions in the world today. This essay will discuss both points of view and why I agree that tourism is the way to save the cultural traditions we have today. It is clear that interactions with the tourism industry will have direct and indirect effects on host communities. Demand for heritage tourism has incentivize the expansion of heritage tourism activities. It is therefore agreed that these cultural and heritage sites might suffer from a loss of local identity due to influences brought in by tourists. This is because commercialization of local culture for tourism can turn local culture into commodities. For example, cultural erosion may occur when religious traditions, local customs and festivals are reduced and reconstructed to conform to meet tourist expectations. However, many disagree and feel that tourism brings benefits to host communities and is a means of saving the cultural traditions we have. This is due to the fact that tourism can utilize and harness the demand for heritage tourism for cultural conservation. Through tourism-related activities, funds are generated to care for and maintain these cultural sites and practices. For example, monuments being made into an attraction not only stimulates pride in one’s history and stimulates respect and understanding of other cultures, but also generate funds for site maintenance. In conclusion, in my opinion, tourism through cultural attractions is an important means for countries to care for and maintain their heritage and cultural practices. While there may be disadvantages to monetizing these cultural traditions, as long as we are mindful and keep in mind the importance of achieving a sustainable heritage tourism, the benefits of cultural attractions are clearly positive.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is considered
as a boon for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy. It plays a pivotal role in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy since it
is considered
the largest employer and generator of foreign exchange for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as money-making tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
, whilst others disagree and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
method to save such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. This essay will discuss both points of view and why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the way to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that interactions with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry will have direct and indirect effects on host communities. Demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has
Use past participle here: "incentivized".
incentivize
the expansion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
activities. It is
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
sites might suffer from a loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
identity due to influences brought in by tourists. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
commercialization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture into commodities.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
erosion may occur when religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and festivals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and reconstructed to conform to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
tourist expectations.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disagree and feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
brings benefits to host communities and is a means of saving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
we have.
This is due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can utilize and harness the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
conservation. Through tourism-related activities, funds
are generated
to care for and maintain these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
sites and practices.
For example
, monuments
being made
into an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attraction
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stimulates pride in one’s history and stimulates respect and understanding of other cultures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
generate funds for site maintenance.

In conclusion
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
means for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to care for and maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
practices. While there may be disadvantages to monetizing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
, as long as we are mindful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind the importance of achieving a sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
are
clearly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that cultural traditions are destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe that this is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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