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Culture and traditions change from generation to generation. Why does this happen? What can be done to change it? v.3

Culture and traditions change from generation to generation. Why does this happen? What can be done to change it? v. 3
Nowadays, habits and customs are changing from our ancestors to the current population. The leading causes include society becoming globalized as well as a lack of interest from youth to preserve their ancestry. Despite the fact that rituals and right are changing, there are several solutions to this catastrophe, namely, increasing family time and additional educational programs at schools, enlightening the future generations about their descendant practices, and vibrant culture. Society is modernizing, and manners and legacy phased out. Firstly, our modern world allows a greater exchange of ideas and new ways to observe socially acceptable trends. For instance, in the past, it was considered rude to phone someone past late hours at night, nevertheless, nowadays, telecommunication devices and cell phone devices with chat mode allows any individual to text someone past their bedtime. Another reason why our cultures and traditions are changing is a lack of desire to pass on the education received by our rich history. For example, at school, students are not being instructed about their social and history in order to keep one’s traditions alive. Thus, the culprit for the watering down of custom is globalization and lack of interest from the school syllabus. Consequently, family time and a syllabus filled with values, education, arts, legacy, traditions, and manners are essential to bring back into practice and preserve our social dilemma. In particular, parents can be ambassadors to their children, teaching them about one’s country’s cultural tradition and keeping alive the beautiful art that characterizes our uniqueness as a nation. Indeed, in Venezuela, many families are currently teaching their children how to play their national instrument as a method for bringing back the lost culture. Furthermore, schools can implement guided art galleries and shows to maintain the spirit of the older generation practices alive. In conclusion, although, the progressive decline of ancestry among current society is primarily due to globalization and loss of interest this can be mitigated by spending more time as a familiar nucleus sharing and learning from older vocational practices as well as expanding the school curriculum to create awareness that will foster a love and passion for culture.
Nowadays, habits and customs are changing from our ancestors to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
population. The leading causes include society becoming globalized
as well
as a lack of interest from youth to preserve their ancestry. Despite the fact that rituals and right are changing, there are several solutions to this catastrophe,
namely
, increasing family time and additional educational programs at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, enlightening the future generations about their descendant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
, and vibrant culture.

Society is modernizing, and manners and legacy phased out.
Firstly
, our modern world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
a greater exchange of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and new ways to observe
socially
acceptable trends.
For instance
, in the past, it
was considered
rude to phone someone past late hours at night,
nevertheless
, nowadays, telecommunication devices and cell phone devices with chat mode
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
any individual to text someone past their bedtime. Another reason why our cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
are changing is a lack of desire to pass on the education received by our rich history.
For example
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, students are not
being instructed
about their social and history in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
alive.
Thus
, the culprit for the watering down of custom is globalization and lack of interest from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus.

Consequently
, family time and a syllabus filled with values, education, arts, legacy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
, and manners are essential to bring back into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
and preserve our social dilemma.
In particular
, parents can be ambassadors to their children, teaching them about one’s country’s cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
and keeping alive the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
art that characterizes our uniqueness as a nation.
Indeed
, in Venezuela,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families are
currently
teaching their children how to play their national instrument as a method for bringing back the lost culture.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can implement guided art galleries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
to maintain the spirit of the older generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
alive.

In conclusion
, although, the progressive decline of ancestry among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society is
primarily
due to globalization and loss of interest this can
be mitigated
by spending more time as a familiar nucleus sharing and learning from older vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
as well
as expanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum to create awareness that will foster a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and passion for culture.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Culture and traditions change from generation to generation. Why does this happen? What can be done to change it? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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