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Crime rate against women is increasing day by day What are the reasons for this Discuss some possible solutions for dealing with this problem v.2

Crime rate against women is increasing day by day What are the reasons for this Discuss some possible solutions for dealing with this problem v. 2
The extent of crimes on women are expanding quite rapidly in today' s world. Most of the newspapers are filled with these atrocious and sinful acts by some of the disturbed individuals. This essay will discuss the reason behind this and suggest a viable solution. To commence with, the prime reason for an inflation in crime rate against women is that the men perceive a lonely woman as an easy target. Also, larger part of women population is unable to defend single-handedly against these type of youngsters. As a result, criminals take advantage and eventually prey these girls under appropriate conditions. For example, data released by FBI proved that the women who usually travel alone to work or school have been criminally targeted twice as compared to girls who commute with a companion. One of the solution to this worrying problem is that employers should assign a designated driver to these lady employees who ride alone during night. Additionally, the security levels should need to be tighten by the police for these women, especially around crime impacted areas. For instance, New Delhi Police in 2017 have deputed an undercover policeman on platforms after a series of numerous crimes on these train stations which had significantly reduced the crime volume. In summary, one of the main causes of a crime growth is the inability of a victim to protect themselves against extra powerful and stronger men. This can be solved by employers who can provide an additional cover to late working females to ensure the safety of their workers. It is predicted that the crime rate against women can be alleviated with an increased layer of security.
The extent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are expanding quite
rapidly
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world. Most of the newspapers
are filled
with these atrocious and sinful acts by
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
disturbed individuals. This essay will discuss the reason behind this and suggest a viable solution.

To commence with, the prime reason for an inflation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
perceive a lonely woman as an easy target.
Also
, larger part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
population is unable to defend single-
handedly
against these type of youngsters.
As a result
, criminals take advantage and
eventually
prey these girls under appropriate conditions.
For example
, data released by FBI proved that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
usually
travel alone to work or school have been
criminally
targeted twice as compared to girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
commute with a companion.

One of the solution to this worrying problem is that employers should assign a designated driver to these lady employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
ride alone during night.
Additionally
, the security levels should need to be
Consider using a past participle here: "tightened".
tighten
by the police for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
especially
around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
impacted areas.
For instance
, New Delhi Police in 2017 have deputed an undercover policeman on platforms after a series of numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
on these train stations which had
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
volume.

In summary, one of the main causes of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
growth is the inability of a victim to protect themselves against extra powerful and stronger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. This can
be solved
by employers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can provide an additional cover to late working females to ensure the safety of their workers. It
is predicted
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can
be alleviated
with an increased layer of security.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Crime rate against women is increasing day by day What are the reasons for this Discuss some possible solutions for dealing with this problem v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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