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Crime is a big problem in the world many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it To what extent do you agree or disagree Give your own opinion v.1

Crime is a big problem in the world many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it Give your own opinion v. 1
Many people have a tendency to buy those things which are not required or not that useful. This habit leads a person to take lots of loans from banks or from near and dear ones, because of which they get into debt and are not able to pay back the loans. This essay will discuss about the reasons for this behaviour in people and the solutions to prevent this. People get easily attracted from the expensive things which they see in malls or they see in the other's hand and find it very appealing. Humans always try to look or have things better from others. Due to these reasons, people become jealous and want to get those products easily, in a short period of time and without any hard work. For this reason they start taking loans from their financial associates or friends and family. By taking huge loans just to complete small wishes of life people get into huge debts. When they are unable to pay back the loans they suffer from stress, tension, depression and even commit suicide. This problem can be easily solved if people start becoming organized about their finances and know what things are important in their lives. If people start acknowledging what hard earned money and self respect is, they won't borrow money from others. To conclude, people should start saving money for the goods they want to buy. Instead of going into debt they should know what are their limitations therefore, till what limit can they buy goods. Moreover, people should know what things matters in life more is it the fancy things of malls or other precious relations, which generally get harmed due to such habits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
those things which are not required or not that useful. This habit leads a person to take lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
from banks or from near and dear ones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into debt and are not able to pay back the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
reasons for this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easily
attracted from the expensive things which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
malls or
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the other's hand and find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
appealing. Humans always try to look or have things better from others. Due to these reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become jealous and want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
those products
easily
, in a short period of time and without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.
For this reason
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
from their financial associates or friends and family.

By taking huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to complete
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
wishes of life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into huge debts. When they are unable to pay back the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
they suffer from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, tension, depression and even commit suicide. This problem can be
easily
solved if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
becoming organized about their finances and know what things are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
acknowledging what
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
money and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self respect
is, they won't borrow money from others.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
saving money for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
Instead
of going into debt they should know what are their limitations
therefore
, till what limit can they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should know what things
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "matter".
matters
in life more is it the fancy things of malls or other precious relations, which
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
harmed due to such habits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Crime is a big problem in the world many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it Give your own opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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