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Crime is a big problem in the world; many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion. v.2

Crime is a big problem in the world; many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. Give your own opinion. v. 2
Along with other problems, it is considered as a big trouble in the world, which many people believe is unstoppable. I completely disagree with that because from my perspective, criminal activities can be prevented. The criminal activities are growing too fast that is why some people think it is impossible to deal with it. Furthermore, the criminals have found new and smart ways to carry out their fraudulent jobs and are left uncaught. Because of this, general population believe that the police and other agencies are found to be helpless in front of the criminals. For instance, the rate of street crime in the world has increased by 5 folds in a last decade, which proves it to be an unpreventable issue. Therefore, it is a common belief that crime cannot be stopped. Although, some people do not believe that crime can be prevented, I strongly believe that it is preventable. It is a major concern in all over the world and; a proper management and a leadership can lead to a crime free nation. I believe, crime can be prevented by taking wise steps by the states to cope up with the reasons which leads to a criminal mindset. For example, Karachi, the biggest city of Pakistan, was once considered as a hub of target killings and street crimes, but because of the government's effective strategy, now the crime declines to the half as compared to before. Hence, In my view, by implementing the strict rules and regulations; and by dealing properly with the reasons behind the felonies, it is surely a preventable. To conclude, crime and misdeeds have a profound impact on the world. However, some people believe that it cannot be stopped, In my opinion, it definitely can be prevented by taking strong steps against the crime.
Along with other problems, it
is considered
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
trouble in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
is unstoppable. I completely disagree with that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
from my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities are growing too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
that is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is impossible to deal with it.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
have found new and smart ways to carry out their fraudulent jobs and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
uncaught.
Because of this
, general population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the police and other agencies
are found
to be helpless in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
For instance
, the rate of street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has increased by 5 folds in a last decade, which proves it to be an unpreventable issue.
Therefore
, it is a common belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.

Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
, I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is preventable. It is a major concern in all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and; a proper management and a leadership can lead to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
free nation. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by taking wise steps by the states to cope up with the reasons which leads to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
mindset.
For example
, Karachi, the biggest city of Pakistan, was once considered as a hub of target killings and street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's effective strategy,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
declines to the half as compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Hence
, In my view, by implementing the strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations; and by dealing
properly
with the reasons behind the felonies, it is
surely
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a preventable
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and misdeeds have a profound impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
, In my opinion, it definitely can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by taking strong steps against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Crime is a big problem in the world; many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. Give your own opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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