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Cricket has become more popular than the national sports in the sub continental countries What do you think are the reasons behind this v.1

Cricket has become more popular than the national sports in the sub continental countries What do you think are the reasons behind this v. 1
These days, people’s workplaces are constantly changing and evolving to meet the demands of modern society. Furthermore, the roles and responsibilities of jobs are also undergoing changes to adapt to new ways of working and living. This essay will discuss the possible reasons for these changes, and suggest some ways that people can better prepare themselves for their future careers. Firstly, due to the developments in hi-tech machines and artificial intelligence, millions of people all around the world are losing their jobs and being replaced by automated processes. For example, millions of factory workers have lost their jobs because they have been replaced by machines that are able to do their job quicker and more effectively. Furthermore, as a result of the ever-increasing desire to cut expenses and increase profits, many jobs are being outsourced to countries where the wages are lower. For instance, when a person calls a tech support help line in an English speaking country, they will most likely be connected to someone in another country, like India or Philippines, where the wages are lower. However, there are a number of ways that people can prepare for changes in their workplaces in the future. Firstly, students preparing to leave high school need to be advised about the sustainability of the career path they are choosing. To illustrate, autonomous vehicles are predicted to replace most deliveries and taxi driver jobs in the very near future, so this is not a job that someone should expect to have for a very long time. Furthermore, while some jobs are being replaced by technology, many jobs are simply incorporating technology into their process, and therefore people will need to be able to keep up to date with these changes. To help achieve this, specific courses could be designed to help educate people on the use of modern technology in their workplaces. In conclusion, although there are many changes in the workplace these days, educating people to carefully choose their career and to keep up to date with modern technology, is the key to avoiding any major problems.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
workplaces are
constantly
changing and evolving to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demands of modern society.
Furthermore
, the roles and responsibilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
also
undergoing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
to adapt to new ways of working and living. This essay will discuss the possible reasons for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
, and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can better prepare themselves for their future careers.

Firstly
, due to the developments in hi-tech machines and artificial intelligence, millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the world are losing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
being replaced
by automated processes.
For example
, millions of factory workers have lost their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
been replaced
by machines that are able to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
quicker and more eff
ectively
.
Furthermore
,
as a result
of the ever-increasing desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
expenses and increase profits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
being outsourced
to countries where the wages are lower.
For instance
, when a person calls a tech support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
line in an
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
country, they will most likely
be connected
to someone in another country, like India or Philippines, where the wages are lower.

However
, there are a number of ways that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can prepare for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in their workplaces in the future.
Firstly
, students preparing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
high school need to
be advised
about the sustainability of the career path they are choosing. To illustrate, autonomous vehicles
are predicted
to replace most deliveries and taxi driver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
near future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that someone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to have for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long time.
Furthermore
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
being replaced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
simply
incorporating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
into their process, and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will need to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up to date with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
achieve this, specific courses could
be designed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in their workplaces.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in the workplace these days, educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
carefully
choose their career and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up to date with modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, is the key to avoiding any major problems.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Cricket has become more popular than the national sports in the sub continental countries What do you think are the reasons behind this v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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