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Cricket has become more popular than the national sports in many subcontinental countries. v.3

Cricket has become more popular than the national sports in many subcontinental countries. v. 3
Undoubtedly, cricket is the most popular sport in subcontinental countries because there is hardly any part of this region where cricket is not played and relished. Though they have their national sports, cricket has gained far more popularity. Hereby, I will throw some light on some of the possible reasons behind this phenomenon. The predominant reason, why cricket has become so popular among subcontinental nations is that this sport was introduced to them by the British during the colonial period. Most countries in this area became familiar with the rules and regulations of this game and started playing it and then ultimately becoming proficient in it. Moreover, these developing nations have imitated English culture for a long, whether it is a style, language and sport, and importance of English language in these countries is convincing enough evidence of the fact that whatever was introduced by the English in their occupied countries continued to be flourished. Moving further, the national sports like hockey, Kabaddi, Volleyball and so on have limited international tournaments, whereas cricket has various events like ICC Cricket World Cup, IPL, Ashes Series, ICC World Twenty-20 and many more. Therefore, cricket gets a lot more media coverage than any other national games in these countries. As a result, everyone has a special affinity towards cricket and cricketers as well, especially youngsters who have a profound passion for this sport. Teams like India, Pakistan, Australia, South Africa and Sri Lanka have been world champions multiple times while others are emerging powers in cricket. So it is only natural that they have a huge number of fans who enjoy cricket to the fullest. To recapitulate, cricket dominates the sports world, particularly in countries like India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Australia and South Africa, which have gone through the influence of English culture during the English colonial era and where this sport is considered a part of national pride due to their success and fanbase.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
is the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in subcontinental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is hardly any part of this region where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
is not played and relished. Though they have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
has gained far more popularity. Hereby, I will throw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
possible reasons behind this phenomenon.

The predominant reason, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular among subcontinental nations is that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
was introduced
to them by the British during the colonial period. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in this area became familiar with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations of this game and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
playing it and then
ultimately
becoming proficient in it.
Moreover
, these developing nations have imitated English culture for a long, whether it is a style, language and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, and importance of English language in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is convincing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
evidence of the fact that whatever
was introduced
by the English in their occupied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
continued to
be flourished
.

Moving
further
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like hockey,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kabaddi
, Volleyball and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on have limited international tournaments, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
has various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
like ICC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Cup,
Possible spelling mistake found.
IPL
, Ashes Series, ICC
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World
Twenty-20 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Therefore
,
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cricket
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a lot more media coverage than any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
games in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
As a result
, everyone has a special affinity towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
and cricketers
as well
,
especially
youngsters who have a profound passion for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. Teams like India, Pakistan, Australia, South Africa and Sri Lanka have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
champions multiple times while others are emerging powers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
natural that they have a huge number of fans who enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
to the fullest.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
dominates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
particularly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Australia and South Africa, which have gone through the influence of English culture during the English colonial era and where this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is considered
a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
pride due to their success and
Possible spelling mistake found.
fanbase
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Cricket has become more popular than the national sports in many subcontinental countries. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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