Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people believe that university students should study a full range of subjects, instead of some specific subjects. v.4

Many people believe that university students should study a full range of subjects, instead of some specific subjects. v. 4
Universities, supreme citadels for building an enlightened generation, play a pivotal role in shaping a country's destiny. Thus the curriculum they follow to teach pupils has a profound impact on its overall outcome. Though some scholars believe that teaching a wide range of subjects at tertiary level is far more beneficial than restraining the syllabus to a few particular subjects, I have reasons to disagree with this view. First of all, universities cannot teach all the subjects to the disciples and the notion of teaching them a great number of subjects is impractical. For instance, an average university has more than 30 departments and they are meant to specialise students in a particular field, not make them the jack of all trades only to produce mediocre professionals. Many public universities are already struggling to finish the course in time and if more subjects are added, that would simply make the scenario worse. Furthermore, a medical student, when forced to study history and poetry, would feel less connected to those subjects, ultimately ending with less specialised knowledge and skill. Similarly, a student from literature would find solving higher calculus a real challenge. The university already has its departments that pick students based on their merits and interests and the course offering should stick to that. Finally, someone does not need to excel in all subjects to do better in his profession. If an engineering student is interested in studying history, he can always do so even the university curriculum does not include it. Many eminent scientists had little knowledge of other subjects and that did not deter them from changing the world forever and this can be a great example how specific subjects in tertiary level can be beneficial than the idea of adding a list of unrelated subjects. To conclude, the areas of studies, especially in this modern era, are myriad and thus adding a spectrum of subjects in every major is not a practical idea.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
, supreme citadels for building an enlightened generation, play a pivotal role in shaping a country's destiny.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the curriculum they follow to teach pupils has a profound impact on its
overall
outcome. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scholars believe that teaching a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at tertiary level is far more beneficial than restraining the syllabus to a few particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, I have reasons to disagree with this view.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
cannot teach all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to the disciples and the notion of teaching them a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is impractical.
For instance
, an average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
has more than 30
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
departments and
they
are meant
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialise' is British English.
specialise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in a particular field, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them the jack of all trades
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to produce mediocre professionals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are already struggling to finish the course in time and if more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
, that would
simply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the scenario worse.

Furthermore
, a medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, when forced to study history and poetry, would feel less connected to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
ultimately
ending with less
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
Similarly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
from literature would find solving higher calculus a real challenge. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
already has its departments that pick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
based on their merits and interests and the course offering should stick to that.

Finally
, someone does not need to excel in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to do better in his profession. If an engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is interested
in studying history, he can always do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
curriculum does not include it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
eminent scientists had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
knowledge of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and that did not deter them from changing the world forever and this can be a great example how specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in tertiary level can be beneficial than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of adding a list of unrelated subjects.

To conclude
, the areas of studies,
especially
in this modern era, are myriad and
thus
adding a spectrum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in every major is not a practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that university students should study a full range of subjects, instead of some specific subjects. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts