Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent so you agree? v.3

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. v. 3
It is often argued that preventing health issues and diseases is better than treating them and hence the government should allocate appropriate budget for it. I completely agree with this view as it will help maintain a healthy lifestyle and save money on medical expenses in the future. Better still, a healthy population is happier and more productive. Firstly, if the government spends more money on promoting prevention methods it can encourage people to live a good and stress free life. In other words, if a person wants to live a healthy life he needs to prevent himself from indulging in bad habits such as eating fast food etc. However, individual efforts alone will not help. The government should also invest in highlighting the benefits of a healthy lifestyle by launching health awareness campaigns. Secondly, if the government gives more importance towards highlighting benefits of prevention it can help people save a lot of money on medical expenses. This is because by taking prevention measures people will not fall ill, thus saving money which would otherwise have been spent on medical treatment. For example, there has been a 10 percent reduction in the sale of cigarettes in India, after the Indian government launched a campaign highlighting the health consequences of smoking at all major bus and train stations. This has helped people save money which otherwise could have gone into treating illnesses related to smoking. In conclusion, I firmly believe that authorities should spend more on encouraging prevention as it will help people to stay healthy save money on medical bills.
It is
often
argued that preventing health issues and diseases is better than treating them and
hence
the
government
should allocate appropriate budget for it. I completely
agree
with this view as it will
help
maintain a
healthy
lifestyle and
save
money
on
medical
expenses in the future. Better
still
, a
healthy
population is happier and more productive.

Firstly
, if the
government
spends more
money
on promoting
prevention
methods it can encourage
people
to
live
a
good
and
stress
free life.
In other words
, if a person wants to
live
a
healthy
life he needs to
prevent
himself from indulging in
bad
habits such as eating
fast
food etc.
However
, individual efforts alone will not
help
. The
government
should
also
invest in highlighting the benefits of a
healthy
lifestyle by launching health awareness campaigns.

Secondly
, if the
government
gives more importance towards highlighting benefits of
prevention
it can
help
people
save
a lot of
money
on
medical
expenses. This is
because
by taking
prevention
measures
people
will not fall ill,
thus
saving
money
which would
otherwise
have
been spent
on
medical
treatment.
For example
, there has been a 10 percent reduction in the sale of cigarettes in India, after the Indian
government
launched a campaign highlighting the health consequences of smoking at all major bus and train stations. This has
helped
people
save
money
which
otherwise
could have gone into treating illnesses related to smoking.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that authorities should spend more on encouraging
prevention
as it will
help
people
to stay
healthy
save
money
on
medical
bills.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts