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A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.3

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 3
A group of individuals claims that the large of budget might possibly be considered as a tool to evaluate the values of a person rather than their characteristics. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the above notion since there are a number of aspects that people should highly appreciate to judge one’s worth. There is no doubt that various celebrities might not be paid tribute by others even though they possess a large of real states and cash. The recent studies reported that some of famous people could not be given the forgiveness from fans after serious sandals such as portrayed with lovers or treat others so bad and others. This could intensively reduce the number of followers on social networks and leave others a negative impression on those. As a result, celebrities might be overlooked and judged as a lower educated individual rather than being respectful because of their money. Moreover, the well behavior and attitude could support people to reach to a new peak among daily routines and career. It is undeniable that employees who are more likely to treat kindly and give others the reliability might be appreciated much into the important position in an organization even though their account experienced a low-income in the bank. Since the characteristics of those could offer the satisfaction to partners and managers such as sense of honour and trust, staffs could easily convince others to follow the common vision and lead a team to achieve certain successes. To illustrate, Bill gate have been ranked as one of the most influent billionaires by his creation of Microsoft word in the whole world. Not only by personal achievements, he also was evaluated as a wise and charming person when funding much money to the charity and voluntary programs in order to help children be developed in a better living environment In conclusion, I consider that the worth of individuals might be evaluated by different aspects rather than one’s possession. Besides, the government needs to educate more people to treat fairly with each other in order to improve the distance of social classes
A group of individuals claims that the large of budget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
possibly
be considered
as a tool to evaluate the values of a person
rather
than their characteristics. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the above notion since there are a number of aspects that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
highly
The verb 'appreciate' is used with the gerund form: "appreciate judging".
appreciate to judge
one’s worth.

There is no doubt that various celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not
be paid
tribute by others
even though
they possess a large of real states and cash. The recent studies reported that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the forgiveness from fans after serious sandals such as portrayed with lovers or treat others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. This could
intensively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of followers on social networks and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
others a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impression on those.
As a result
, celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be overlooked
and judged as a lower educated individual
rather
than being respectful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their money.

Moreover
, the well behavior and attitude could support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to reach to a new peak among daily routines and career. It is undeniable that employees who are more likely to treat kindly and give others the reliability
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be appreciated
much into the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
position in an organization
even though
their account experienced a low-income in the bank. Since the characteristics of those could offer the satisfaction to partners and managers such as sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
and trust, staffs could
easily
convince others to follow the common vision and lead a team to achieve certain successes. To illustrate, Bill gate have
been ranked
as one of the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
influent
billionaires by his creation of
Did you mean the proper noun "Microsoft Word" (= Microsoft product)?
Microsoft word
in the whole world. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by personal achievements, he
also
was evaluated
as a wise and charming person when funding much money to the charity and voluntary programs in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children
be developed
in a better living
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
environment


In conclusion
, I consider that the worth of individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be evaluated
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects
rather
than one’s possession.
Besides
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to educate more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to treat
fairly
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the distance of social classes
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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