A group of individuals claims that the large of budget might possibly be considered as a tool to evaluate the values of a person rather than their characteristics. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the above notion since there are a number of aspects that people should highly appreciate to judge one’s worth.
There is no doubt that various celebrities might not be paid tribute by others even though they possess a large of real states and cash. The recent studies reported that some of famous people could not be given the forgiveness from fans after serious sandals such as portrayed with lovers or treat others so bad and others. This could intensively reduce the number of followers on social networks and leave others a negative impression on those. As a result, celebrities might be overlooked and judged as a lower educated individual rather than being respectful because of their money.
Moreover, the well behavior and attitude could support people to reach to a new peak among daily routines and career. It is undeniable that employees who are more likely to treat kindly and give others the reliability might be appreciated much into the important position in an organization even though their account experienced a low-income in the bank. Since the characteristics of those could offer the satisfaction to partners and managers such as sense of honour and trust, staffs could easily convince others to follow the common vision and lead a team to achieve certain successes. To illustrate, Bill gate have been ranked as one of the most influent billionaires by his creation of Microsoft word in the whole world. Not only by personal achievements, he also was evaluated as a wise and charming person when funding much money to the charity and voluntary programs in order to help children be developed in a better living environment
In conclusion, I consider that the worth of individuals might be evaluated by different aspects rather than one’s possession. Besides, the government needs to educate more people to treat fairly with each other in order to improve the distance of social classes
A group of individuals claims that the large of budget  
might
  possibly
  be considered
 as a tool to evaluate the values of a person  
rather
 than their characteristics. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the above notion since there are a number of aspects that  
people
 should  
highly
  appreciate to judge
 one’s worth.
There is no doubt that various celebrities  
might
 not  
be paid
 tribute by others  
even though
 they possess a large of real states and cash. The recent studies reported that  
some
 of  
famous
  people
 could not be  
given
 the forgiveness from fans after serious sandals such as portrayed with lovers or treat others  
so
  bad
  and others
. This could  
intensively
  reduce
 the number of followers on social networks and  
leave
 others a  
negative
 impression on those.  
As a result
, celebrities  
might
  be overlooked
 and judged as a lower educated individual  
rather
 than being respectful  
because
 of their money. 
Moreover
, the well behavior and attitude could support  
people
 to reach to a new peak among daily routines and career. It is undeniable that employees who are more likely to treat kindly and give others the reliability  
might
  be appreciated
 much into the  
important
 position in an organization  
even though
 their account experienced a low-income in the bank. Since the characteristics of those could offer the satisfaction to partners and managers such as sense of  
honour
 and trust, staffs could  
easily
 convince others to follow the common vision and lead a team to achieve certain successes. To illustrate, Bill gate have  
been ranked
 as one of the most  
influent
 billionaires by his creation of  
Microsoft word
 in the whole world. Not  
only
 by personal achievements, he  
also
  was evaluated
 as a wise and charming person when funding much money to the charity and voluntary programs in order to  
help
 children  
be developed
 in a better living  
environment
 In conclusion
, I consider that the worth of individuals  
might
  be evaluated
 by  
different
 aspects  
rather
 than one’s possession.  
Besides
, the  
government
 needs to educate more  
people
 to treat  
fairly
 with each  
other
 in order to  
improve
 the distance of social classes
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes