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Countries with long average working hours are economically more successful than those countries which do not work long hours To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

Countries with long average working hours are economically more successful than those countries which do not work long hours v. 2
A growing number of felonies can be observed every year. There are a few causes to this matter and consequences in the long term. However, it is possible to design strategies to minimise the issues caused by high rates of crime. I will discuss some of the origins to misconduct and possible prevention methods. One of the first causes of crime is poverty and lack of opportunities. Moreover, people in poverty find it difficult to access good quality education in a capitalist system, hence becoming more vulnerable and often getting caught in a vicious circle from which it is quite difficult to emerge. For instance, if someone is in debt and unemployed, this person will resort to extreme measures such as robbing to alleviate immediate needs, whereas someone that has been properly educated will think twice before committing a felony. A possible solution to this problem would be to have better access to education. However, it is extremely important to strengthen laws and raise awareness to respect government institutions. Instead of just caring for the number of law-enforcement resources, it can be more useful to implement campaigns to fight off increased criminal behaviours. Although it may sound harsh, people need to learn the consequences of breaking the law, for example, speeding tickets are constantly given to people that make up excuses and avoid following the rules. In conclusion, it is worrying that criminal activity is on the rise every year. This is an area of opportunity for governments to improve access to better education, which is the cornerstone to overcome extreme poverty. Furthermore, law-enforcement agents should be part of campaigns delivered to the people, promoting respect to institutions.
A growing number of felonies can
be observed
every year. There are a few causes to this matter and consequences in the long term.
However
, it is possible to design strategies to
minimise
the issues caused by high rates of crime. I will discuss
some of the
origins to misconduct and possible prevention methods.

One of the
first
causes of crime is poverty and lack of opportunities.
Moreover
,
people
in poverty find it difficult to access
good
quality education in a capitalist system,
hence
becoming more vulnerable and
often
getting caught in a vicious circle from which it is quite difficult to emerge.
For instance
, if someone is in debt and unemployed, this person will resort to extreme measures such as robbing to alleviate immediate needs, whereas someone that has been
properly
educated will
think
twice
before
committing a felony.

A possible solution to this problem would be to have better access to education.
However
, it is
extremely
important
to strengthen laws and raise awareness to respect
government
institutions.
Instead
of
just
caring for the number of law-enforcement resources, it can be more useful to implement campaigns to fight off increased criminal
behaviours
. Although it may sound harsh,
people
need to learn the consequences of breaking the law,
for example
, speeding tickets are
constantly
given
to
people
that
make
up excuses and avoid following the
rules
.

In conclusion
, it is worrying that criminal activity is on the rise every year. This is an area of opportunity for
governments
to
improve
access to better education, which is the cornerstone to overcome extreme poverty.
Furthermore
, law-enforcement agents should be part of campaigns delivered to the
people
, promoting respect to institutions.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Countries with long average working hours are economically more successful than those countries which do not work long hours v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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