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Some people believe that Countries should produce food for the whole population and import as little food as possible To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Some people believe that Countries should produce food for the whole population and import as little food as possible v. 1
Most of the people like to buy products by watching advertisements. Although, some may argue that this trend causes negative effects, I am confident that number benefits that advertisements bring outweigh the problems it might cause. This essay will firstly describe how advertisements have impacted our lives in a constructive way and further move to the difficulties it may cause to people. One of the prominent benefits of this trend is the better identification of products. People can judge which product could be more reasonable to purchase by watching and comparing them through ads. For example, a person can choose which toothpaste to use with the help of advertisements. He/she can compare the specifications price details with other similar commodity without going to the market, therefore, saving their precious time. Not only consumer goods, but advertisements may be a reliable source for governments to motivate public for a positive change. People can be made aware of the consequences of smoking and drinking via advertisements. To illustrate, Indian government has initiated various programs which demonstrate how a cleaner locality is beneficial for people. This move encouraged people to put hard efforts and keep their localities clean. However, sometimes advertisements try and fool people by showing false information related to products. For instance, many people are deceived when they purchase apparel through online adverts, as there is no means of checking the quality of the product. Therefore, people should be proactive when making buying through certain means. In conclusion, I believe that advertisements serve a great purpose and bring many benefits to people. Nevertheless, people need to slightly more cautious when making purchases by watching advertisements.
Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may argue that this trend causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, I am confident that number benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
bring outweigh the problems it might cause. This essay will
firstly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have impacted our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
Consider replacing "in a constructive way" with the adverb for "constructive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a constructive way
and
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the difficulties it may cause to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

One of the prominent benefits of this trend is the better identification of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can judge which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
could be more reasonable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
by watching and comparing them through ads.
For example
, a person can choose which toothpaste to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. He/she can compare the specifications price
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
with other similar commodity without going to the market,
therefore
, saving their precious time.

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
may be a reliable source for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to motivate public for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
be made
aware of the consequences of smoking and drinking via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. To illustrate, Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has initiated various programs which demonstrate how a cleaner locality is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
efforts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their localities clean.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
fool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by showing false information related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are deceived
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
apparel through online adverts, as there is no means of checking the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be proactive when making buying through certain means.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
serve a great purpose and bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
slightly
more cautious when making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
by watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that Countries should produce food for the whole population and import as little food as possible v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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