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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should state their honest opinions even though they know others will disagree with their views. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.301

People should state their honest opinions even though they know others will disagree with their views. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 301
A group of individuals believes that with the advancement in technology people are becoming less social; however from other people point of view they are becoming more social using these new gadgets. I fully concur with the notion that people are lost in a virtual world and are loosing the interaction with people in society. To begin with, the wide range of content available on google, which can be accessed using mobile phones, is one of the major causes of limiting the communication among people. Due to this if anybody has any query they simply search on google and get the answer, but earlier people use to get a solution of these questions by either by asking their family members or neighbours. For example, to know the route to any location that you want to visit, google maps is handy application and people prefer to use that in place of asking others. Which clearly shows that mobile phones has an adverse effect on face to face communication. In addition to this, the most of the time people are busy with their mobile phones either calling or exploring newly created applications such as mobile games and social networking sites. Which not only reducing the interaction but also making the humans more isolated. For example, it has been widely seen, in any of the public places, that everyone is stick to their electronic devices instead of talking to each other, as was the case earlier. To conclude, data available on the internet and easily accessible from cell phones and over usage of mobile phones is increasing the communication gap in the families and societies. We can say that, If there were no mobile phones, people would have interacted more with the ones sitting next to them.
A group of individuals believes that with the advancement in technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming less social;
however
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
point of view they are becoming more social using these new gadgets. I
fully
concur with the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are lost
in a virtual world and are
Did you mean "losing the"?
loosing the
interaction with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the wide range of content available on google, which can
be accessed
using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, is one of the major causes of limiting the communication among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Due to this if anybody has any query they
simply
search on google and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the answer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a solution of these questions by either by asking their family members or
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
For example
, to know the route to any location that you want to visit,
Did you mean "Google Maps"?
google maps
is handy application and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that in place of asking others.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
has an adverse effect on face to face communication.

In addition
to this, the most of the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy with their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
either calling or exploring
newly
created applications such as mobile games and social networking sites. Which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reducing the interaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
making the humans more isolated.
For example
, it has been
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, in any of the public places, that everyone is stick to their electronic devices
instead
of talking to each other, as was the case earlier.

To conclude
, data available on the internet and
easily
accessible from cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and over usage of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is increasing the communication gap in the families and societies. We can say that, If there were no mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have interacted more with the ones sitting
next
to them.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People should state their honest opinions even though they know others will disagree with their views. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 301

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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