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Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome? v.1

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome? v. 1
Environmental, population and education systems are changing rapidly around the world. These changes pose significant challenges to countries around the world, especially in my country, India. This essay will discuss the challenges my country will face in the next 10 years and how these can be overcome by taking the right measure from now on. One of the most crucial troubles my nation will continue to face is its high growth rate of population. In the next decade the India which already has over 1 billion people will have nearly doubled its population. Thus, with its depleting natural resources it will become impossible to fulfil even the basic needs of its inhabitants. Case in point, deforestation is currently rampant in our state in order to expand its cities, causing rain and water shortage, which will only increase. As, agriculture is negatively affected by this, people in villages will move to cities, creating a vicious circle of further resource depletion. It can be solved by shifting the country’s main focus towards reducing its populace by creating policies that encourage fewer children, like for example, tax benefits for people with two or less number of kids. In conclusion, population control strategies should be in place on an immediate basis. Another main problem the country will face is its disparity in education. Although India produces some of the greatest minds in engineering and medicine, the poor in my country have very limited access to basic education and may not be able to have any access at all in the coming years. In the next ten years, unless and until the public school system improves, the country will continue to face challenges in terms the widening gap between the rich and poor. For instance, the government should immediately have stringent rules pertaining to cost of private education which will become unattainable to the middle class mostly due to greed. The best way to overcome this problem is to make better strategies in terms of equal education to everybody. Wrapping up, the education system should be of good quality and should be made accessible to one and all. Ending the essay on a positive note, India as a country is fast developing, however, its governing bodies should prioritize reducing its population and creating better education systems for the same.
Environmental,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
are changing
rapidly
around the world. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
pose significant challenges to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world,
especially
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, India. This essay will discuss the challenges my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
in the
next
10 years and how these can
be overcome
by taking the right measure from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
on.

One of the most crucial troubles my nation will continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
is its high growth rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. In the
next
decade the India which already has over 1 billion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have
nearly
doubled its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.
Thus
, with its depleting natural resources it will become impossible to fulfil even the basic needs of its inhabitants. Case in point, deforestation is
currently
rampant in our state in order to expand its cities, causing rain and water shortage, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increase. As, agriculture is
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in villages will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to cities, creating a vicious circle of
further
resource depletion. It can
be solved
by shifting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
main focus towards reducing its populace by creating policies that encourage fewer children, like
for example
, tax benefits for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with two or less number of kids.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
control strategies should be in place on an immediate basis.

Another main problem the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
is its disparity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Although India produces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the greatest minds in engineering and medicine, the poor in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited access to basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and may not be able to have any access at all in the coming years. In the
next
ten years, unless and until the public school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
challenges in terms the widening gap between the rich and poor.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should immediately have stringent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
pertaining to cost of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
which will become unattainable to the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
mostly
due to greed. The best way to overcome this problem is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better strategies in terms of equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to everybody. Wrapping up, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
should be of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality and should
be made
accessible to one and all.

Ending the essay on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
note, India as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
developing,
however
, its governing bodies should prioritize reducing its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and creating better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
for the same.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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