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In almost all the coutries there are laws regulating the contents of films, videos, books and newspaper. Should the media be controlled in these ways? What are the benefits or risks of censorship? v.1

In almost all the coutries there are laws regulating the contents of films, videos, books and newspaper. Should the media be controlled in these ways? What are the benefits or risks of censorship? v. 1
It is irrefutable that people live in an era abound with freedom nowadays. Mass media such as the internet, books, and newspapers are available to the citizens. However, few countries remain conservative, which indicates that the media would be censored by the government. In my view, I disagree with the prompt and I believe government should not control the media because it deprives people freedom of right, and my opinion would be elucidated as follows. It is inappropriate to establish censorship toward the mass media as it oppresses the entire citizens. People possess the right to express their personal perspective and opinions about certain issues and situation. In the event that the media are under controlled by the authorities, people probably feel repressed about it. A case in point is that China regulates the content of the public media. Any content including the violence, pornography, or opposing political ideology would be barred by the central government. In this case, citizens in China are incapable of showing their own thoughts to the public. Thus, to control the media incurs negative effect on the society to some extent. However, regulating the media could inflict positive influence on the entire nation as well. Though it is disadvantageous in terms of freedom of right in people, it could effectively protect the children from detrimental element. A compelling example of this can be seen in the internet─numerous of websites are inundated with violence and pornography in the present. In this case, children are often incompetent to distinguish right and wrong as they are mentally immature and may therefore, interfered harmfully by it. Hence, formulating censorship to regulate the mass media is imperative. By way of conclusion, as argued above, controlling the public media could be conducive and detrimental to the whole society. However, it is of paramount importance for every nation to weigh a balance between it.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an era abound with freedom nowadays. Mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as the internet, books, and newspapers are available to the citizens.
However
, few countries remain conservative, which indicates that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
would
be censored
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. In my view, I disagree with the prompt and I believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it deprives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
freedom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
, and my opinion would
be elucidated
as follows.

It is inappropriate to establish censorship toward the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as it oppresses the entire citizens.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
possess the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to express their personal perspective and opinions about certain issues and situation. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are under controlled by the authorities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
probably
feel repressed about it. A case in point is that China regulates the content of the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Any content including the violence, pornography, or opposing political ideology would
be barred
by the central
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
In this case
, citizens in China are incapable of showing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thoughts to the public.
Thus
, to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
incurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the society to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

However
, regulating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
could inflict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on the entire nation
as well
. Though it is disadvantageous in terms of freedom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it could
effectively
protect the children from detrimental element. A compelling example of this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
internet─numerous
of websites
are inundated
with violence and pornography in the present.
In this case
, children are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
incompetent to distinguish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
as they are mentally immature and may
therefore
, interfered
harmfully
by it.
Hence
, formulating censorship to regulate the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is imperative.

By way of conclusion, as argued above, controlling the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
could be conducive and detrimental to the whole society.
However
, it is of paramount importance for every nation to weigh a balance between it.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay In almost all the coutries there are laws regulating the contents of films, videos, books and newspaper. Should the media be controlled in these ways? What are the benefits or risks of censorship? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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