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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.12

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 12
There is no doubt that trade exchange is the most important relationship between countries among the human history. Nowadays, the chains to this process have been broken, and people all over around the world can buy products from any country they want without leaving their sofa. This activity has many effects on our daily life development, some of it is advantages and the other is disadvantageous. Firstly, the most important feature of this exchange is cultural commerce between nations, which allows people to discover a new kind of products that they never seen before. Another important advantage represents in countries development. The growth in the movement of products between nations, increase the development of economies dramatically by providing a lot of jobs and money for people who works in this section. On the other hand, this economic activity led to many serious problems to countries. One of the most dangerous disadvantages is losing the national identity, and the reasons of that is people desire to be like developed nations or even strange ones, and business network gives people the chance to have that. Now, people can buy clothes, foods and even songs from other countries and leave their traditional ones. Another effect of this commerce is receiving other nation's traditions like how to wear, eat, speak or even their holidays. This effect will not be shown in this generation, but when you will see the next generation how much they are different you will notice the issue. In conclusion, business transfer like everything in this world has light and dark. The light face represents in discover new cultures and make economical developments. The dark face shown in losing the identity of the nations in many different ways. In my opinion, the face that we have if it was light or dark in rely on our abilities specially team work ability. If our unit and do our best to take the whole benefits from this wave of developing our economy as possible as we can, and avoid the disadvantages of saving our traditions and encourage other people to do that. If we do all of that then we can say with proudly sounds ‘we are nations don’t be affected by riding the unknowns and we can benefit from even the tornadoes if we have to”.
There is no doubt that trade exchange is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
among the human history. Nowadays, the chains to this process have
been broken
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over around the world can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products from any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they want without leaving their sofa. This activity has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effects on our daily life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of it is advantages and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
is disadvantageous.

Firstly
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
feature of this exchange is cultural commerce between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to discover a new kind of products that they never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantage represents in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. The growth in the movement of products between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of economies
dramatically
by providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
jobs and money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
works
in this section.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, this economic activity led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious problems to countries.

One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
disadvantages is losing the national identity, and the reasons of
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire to be like developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
or even strange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, and business network gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the chance to have that.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
clothes, foods and even songs from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. Another effect of this commerce is receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nation's traditions like how to wear, eat, speak or even their holidays. This effect will not
be shown
in this generation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
next
generation how much they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
you will notice the issue.

In conclusion
, business transfer like everything in this world has light and dark. The light face represents in discover new cultures and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
. The dark face shown in losing the identity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. In my opinion, the face that we have if it was light or dark in rely on our abilities
specially
team work ability. If our unit and do our best to take the whole benefits from this wave of developing our economy as possible as we can, and avoid the disadvantages of saving our traditions and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do that. If we do all of that then we can say with
proudly
sounds ‘we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
don’t be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by riding the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
unknowns and
we can benefit from even the tornadoes if we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
”.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 12

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
384 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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