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Children should always follow their parents advice.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

children should always follow their parents' advice. with this statement? v. 1
Nobody can deny that parental influence is important for children, so some people think that children should invariably obey their parents consel. However also claim that it is not always right. I think the following advice from children in the family depends on their ages and conformities. In the early years of childhood children don't know the difference between right and wrong. For example they do not know that playing with matches or fire they can burn themselves. As a practical instance nowadays the more technologies progress the more care about children's life undeniable. Parents are acquainted with their affects. Therefore to grow up as a reasonable person children need someone who knows a lot and gives good and friendly advice. On the contrary as they more becoming mature they have more responsibilities and should gain experience in life as well. only becoming freedom, independence and autonomous, they will learn to make their own conclusions and decisions. For example children independent thinking skills would prefer to work out a solution rather than ask other people for help, when they are confronted with a problem. Children who are used to getting told what to do are reluctant to take initiatives, their first reaction is to ask their parents for help. In such situations constantly following to parents advice can negatively affect mental abilities. In conclusion, I partially agree and I think children need parent's advice in childhood to become mater, but when they grow up they must stand on one's own leg
Nobody can deny that parental influence is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
invariably
obey their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Possible spelling mistake found.
consel
.
However
also
claim that it is not always right. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the following advice from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the family depends on their ages and conformities.

In the early years of childhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don't know the difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, they".
example they
do not know that playing with matches or fire they can burn themselves.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a practical instance nowadays the more technologies progress the more care about children's life undeniable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are acquainted
with their affects.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
to grow up as a reasonable person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need someone who knows a lot and gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and friendly advice.

On the contrary
as they more becoming mature they have more responsibilities and should gain experience in life
as well
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
only
becoming freedom, independence and autonomous, they will learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
conclusions and decisions.
For example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
independent thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
would prefer to work out a solution
rather
than ask other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, when they
are confronted
with a problem.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
what to do are reluctant to take initiatives, their
first
reaction is to ask their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. In such situations
constantly
following to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "parent".
parents
advice can
negatively
affect mental abilities.

In conclusion
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need parent's advice in childhood to become mater,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when they grow up they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
stand on one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
leg
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IELTS essay Children should always follow their parents advice. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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