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Computers are being used more and more in education and so there will soon be no role for the teacher in education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Computers are being used more and more in education and so there will soon be no role for the teacher in education. v. 2
Technologies have developed in various ways, especially in education so it is very common to see that, children and teachers are familiar with technological learning environments. Even though some might argue that the role for teachers will be disappeared due to this phenomenon, I completely disagree. The reason for this is that, teachers are not merely providing the knowledge to children but also teach other several skills that are related to society. Therefore, I am sure that there will be a teacher in education in the future. Computers have evolved in various ways to improve people’s standard of living. In particular, the education fields have benefited from technological advancement. For example, nowadays it is very common to see that teachers are using computers or other materials such as video projectors, to show relevant information related to the subjects for the students to understand better. In other words, all the knowledge and information are now available commonly on computers which might not require of teacher’s help and the familiarity with the technological environments can create the extinction of the professors’ or teachers’ occupations in the foreseeable future. In contrast, teachers’ roles are not merely providing information or knowledge to students, but also they provide practical skills such as bonding, effective communication, socialization and relationships. By having a relationship with a teacher, students can learn societal skills just like the employer and employee relationships in reality. From this relationship, students may understand the way of communication and behaviours to be suitable to society. Furthermore, teachers can also teach children about non-educational matters such as ethic, moral and justice which are the basic of society. Since those psychological skills cannot be taught by technologies yet and therefore, teachers’ occupations will be in demand in the future. In conclusion, the rate of improvement in technology is getting faster and it may seem a threat to teachers’ position since most of information and knowledge can be sought from it. However, teachers’ role is not only limited to providing lessons to children. In my perspective, teachers provide various skills including practical and psychological skills which cannot be replaced by machine. Hence, teacher’s position would not be extinct in the future.
Technologies have developed in various ways,
especially
in education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are familiar with technological learning environments.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might argue that the role for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will
be disappeared
due to this phenomenon, I completely disagree.
The reason for this is
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are not
merely
providing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
teach other several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that
are related
to society.
Therefore
, I am sure that there will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in education in the future.

Computers have evolved in various ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s standard of living.
In particular
, the education fields have benefited from technological advancement.
For example
, nowadays it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are using computers or other materials such as video projectors, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
related to the subjects for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to understand better.
In other words
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
available
commonly
on computers which might not require of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and the familiarity with the technological environments can create the extinction of the professors’ or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
occupations in the foreseeable future.

In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
roles are not
merely
providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they provide practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as bonding, effective communication, socialization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
. By having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn societal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like the employer and employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
in reality. From this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may understand the way of communication and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
to be suitable to society.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can
also
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about non-educational matters such as ethic, moral and justice which are the basic of society. Since those psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
cannot
be taught
by technologies
yet
and
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
occupations will be in demand in the future.

In conclusion
, the rate of improvement in technology is getting faster and it may seem a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
position since most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
can
be sought
from it.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
role is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limited to providing lessons to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
provide various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
including practical and psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which cannot
be replaced
by machine.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
position would not be extinct in the future.
23Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Computers are being used more and more in education and so there will soon be no role for the teacher in education. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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