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A university education should always include an internship or some type of a work experience. Do you agree or disagree. Provide some reasons and examples for your answer. v.2

A university education should always include an internship or some type of a work experience. Provide some reasons and examples for your answer. v. 2
Education is a very important part in our lives. It will broaden our opportunity to land a good job and it determines our success among our peers so we have to get a complete education through working internship. Some people would agree that a university education should not always include an internship or some type of a work experience. Others would disagree. In my view, a university education should always include an internship and some type of a work experience for two imperative reasons. To begin with, a student could correlate the theoretical education with practical one. In order for students to learn more and in a good manner, they have to parctice their education through a work in the same field so they ensure to understand each branch since each field in the study is related to each other. Take myself as an example, when I was in pharmacy school, I studied about the clinical pharmacy and there were many medicines that I couldn' t study them because they were a lot and I had to differentiate between them which was a very difficult task. In fact, I had to know many things about each drug such as therapeutic use, side effects, precaution, contraindication, and even drug food interaction and all these were hard to me and even to any human beings. After struggling in this class, I decided to work in a pharmacy and I worked hardly to take this advantage. Surprisingly, I studied each drug in my own eyes and with experience of my manger who helped and supported me. As a result, I was a professional in clinical pharmacy and I took a good grade in it. Actually, my classmate asked me about my grade and how I was able to pass this class and I explained to them about my experience in a pharmacy. If I didn' t work in that pharmacy, I wouldn' t have passed this class. This experience taught me that all students should work in their feild to expand their knowledge. Another reason is that a student will have a chance to get a job while he is studying. Some companies offer a job for students when they look how the student worked hard. Take my friend as an example, she studying in medical school and she did an internship in one of hospital and it is a very good one in the city. After she finished her internship, her boss asked her to hire her in the hospital because she is a hard worker and she got a good experience that ecourged her manger to engaged her in the hospital. She was happy about that and her parent praised her in front of the family. As we can clearly see, we can start our job early after graduation which endorses us to be an independent person as well as successful one. By the way of conclusion, based on the argument above, I firmly concur that a university should involve an internship during studying. All students should work to get a good experience since this will benefit them while they are in the university and it is really worthwhile.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It will broaden our opportunity to land a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and it determines our success among our peers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
through working internship.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should not always include an internship or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
If 'type' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "type of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
type of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. Others would disagree. In my view, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should always include an internship and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
If 'type' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "type of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
type of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
for two imperative reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
could correlate the theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
with practical one. In order for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn more and in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manner, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Possible spelling mistake found.
parctice
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
through a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the same field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they ensure to understand each branch since each field in the study
is related
to each other. Take myself as an example, when I was in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pharmacy
school, I studied about the clinical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pharmacy
and there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
medicines that I
Possible spelling mistake found.
couldn&
#039; t study them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were a lot and I had to differentiate between them which was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult task. In fact, I had to know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things about each drug such as therapeutic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, side effects, precaution, contraindication, and even drug food interaction and all these were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to me and even to any human beings. After struggling in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, I decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pharmacy
and I
The adverb 'hardly' is usually put before the verb 'worked'.
worked hardly
to take this advantage.
Surprisingly
, I studied each drug in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
eyes and with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of my manger who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
and supported me.
As a result
, I was a professional in clinical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pharmacy
and I took a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
grade in it. Actually, my classmate asked me about my grade and how I was able to pass this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
to them about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pharmacy
. If I
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pharmacy
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
wouldn&
#039; t have passed this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
taught me that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
feild
to expand their knowledge.

Another reason is that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
while he is studying.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
offer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when they look how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. Take my friend as an example,
Did you mean "she's studying", "she is studying", or "she was studying"?
she studying
in medical
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
she did an internship in one of hospital and it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
one in the city. After she finished her internship, her boss asked her to hire her in the hospital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
worker and
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecourged
her manger to engaged her in the hospital. She was happy about that and her parent praised her in front of the family. As we can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
early after graduation which endorses us to be an independent person
as well
as successful one.

By the way of conclusion, based on the argument above, I
firmly
concur that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should involve an internship during studying. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
since this will benefit them while they are in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and it is
really
worthwhile.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay A university education should always include an internship or some type of a work experience. Provide some reasons and examples for your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
528 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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