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Computers are being more and more in education and so there will soon be no role for the teacher in education. To what extents do you agree or disagree? v.1

Computers are being more and more in education and so there will soon be no role for the teacher in education. v. 1
Presently, most of the households are showing interest in working foreign countries. So, certain people opine that these results in lot of advantages to the children rather than others. However, there are some people who believe that it cause a lot difficulties in children's life. In this essay, I will debate on both the viewpoints and suggest my opinion. Interestingly, families who migrate to other nations for work, causes a lot of advantages to the adolescents and teenagers, when compared to the others. Besides, it helps these people to gain international exposure in their studies which helps them to excel in their interested fields. Especially, those kids who study in the developed nations will gain a plenty of knowledge. A research stated that 90% youngsters who studied abroad from their childhood, established multinational companies rather than people pursued their Master's degree in other countries. On the other hand, some people suggest that these migrations show a huge impact in the child lifestyle because these people miss their friends and relatives. In addition, these kids have to learn how to survive in the environment that he never imagined. Though these people started adjusting in their lifestyle, they never know the true value of the relationships. As a result, these children's were willing to work in order to earn huge profits. In conclusion, most of the people started migrating to the developed nations because it improves their child life and establish a special bonding with the surroundings. Nevertheless, it also shows an impact on the view, that these people started seeing the society and relationships with their relatives. Therefore, I believe that people should be encouraged to work in other countries, but they should also their kids to maintain the relations and standards that are to be followed in their motherland.
Presently
, most of the households are showing interest in working foreign countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that these results in lot of advantages to the children
rather
than others.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that it cause
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of difficulties"?
a lot difficulties
in children's life. In this essay, I will debate on both the viewpoints and suggest my opinion.

Interestingly
, families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations for work, causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages to the adolescents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, when compared to the others.
Besides
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to gain international exposure in their studies which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to excel in their interested fields.
Especially
, those kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
study in the developed nations will gain a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of knowledge.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
stated that 90% youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
studied abroad from their childhood, established multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pursued their Master's degree in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that these migrations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a huge impact in the child lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
miss their friends and relatives.
In addition
, these kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn how to survive in the environment that he never imagined. Though these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
adjusting in their lifestyle, they never know the true value of the relationships.
As a result
, these children's were willing to work in order to earn huge profits.

In conclusion
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
migrating to the developed nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their child life and establish a special bonding with the surroundings.
Nevertheless
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
an impact on the view, that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
seeing the society and relationships with their relatives.
Therefore
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be encouraged
to work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should
also
their kids to maintain the relations and standards that are to
be followed
in their motherland.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Computers are being more and more in education and so there will soon be no role for the teacher in education. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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