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Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion. v.22

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. v. 22
Computers have gradually changed the way education is delivered. Some people believe that this advancement has brought many favourable changes in the teaching domain. However, some are against the opinion considering the related negative impacts. I will discuss why usage of computers is more beneficial despite some of the detrimental aspects, which can be countered. The introduction of computers at every education level has greatly influenced the student-teacher relationship. The online lectures and power point slides for the subject guidance have reduced the need of physical presence of a teacher. However, it does not benefit all in the same manner. Many students face difficulties in understanding the educational material. As according to an experimental research carried out in Japan, many high school students who received lectures virtually found it difficult to understand the content, contrary to the counterparts who received lectures from a teacher. Additionally, educational institutes are believed to develop personalities of students to make them a better person. This reduced interaction of apprentices with their mentors also hampers their moral development. Despite this, computers have been accepted to enhance the learning experience. This technological innovation has allowed many to study further who were unable to go to educational institutes due to their professional or personal commitments. To illustrate, the Virtual University of Pakistan through its online mode of education has become famous among the job holders to pursue higher studies. Furthermore, computers have made research easier by accommodating unlimited educational resources, which are available at few clicks. This is the reason that people do not feel the need to visit libraries often or buy multiple books to study a particular subject. In conclusion, computers are not favoured by some people considering the loss of student-mentor relationship, which is vital in their knowledge and character building. However, in my opinion this aspect can be offset by putting a limit on the computer based learning in traditional educational institutes. This development has proved to be more beneficial by providing easily accessible educational material and allowing many people to study virtually, which was not possible for them otherwise.
Computers have
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way education
is delivered
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this advancement has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the teaching domain.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are against the opinion considering the related
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts. I will discuss why usage of computers is more beneficial despite
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
detrimental aspects, which can
be countered
.

The introduction of computers at every education level has
greatly
influenced the student-teacher relationship. The online lectures and
Did you mean "PowerPoint" (= Microsoft presentation software)?
power point
slides for the subject guidance have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the need of physical presence of a teacher.
However
, it does not benefit all in the same manner.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
students face difficulties in understanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
material. As according to an experimental research carried out in Japan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
high school students who received lectures
virtually
found it difficult to understand the content, contrary to the counterparts who received lectures from a teacher.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutes
are believed
to develop personalities of students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them a better person. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
interaction of apprentices with their mentors
also
hampers their moral development.

Despite this, computers have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
to enhance the learning experience. This technological innovation has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
further
who were unable to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutes due to their professional or personal commitments. To illustrate, the Virtual University of Pakistan through its online mode of education has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among the job holders to pursue higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Furthermore
, computers have made research easier by accommodating unlimited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
resources, which are available at few clicks. This is the reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not feel the need to visit libraries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
multiple books to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
a particular subject.

In conclusion
, computers are not
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
considering the loss of student-mentor relationship, which is vital in their knowledge and character building.
However
, in my opinion this aspect can be offset by putting a limit on the computer based learning in traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutes. This development has proved to be more beneficial by providing
easily
accessible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
material and allowing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
virtually
, which was not possible for them
otherwise
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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