Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

computers are being used more and more in education. some people say that this a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. discuss both sides of the arguments and the give your own opinion. v.20

computers are being used more and more in education. some people say that this a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. v. 20
Technology has been rapidly growing in the last decade. Where computers are becoming an essential need in the whole education system. Although some people think it is beneficial, but few people feel it brings negative impact along. In this essay will discuss both the sides of arguments and support my opinion, why I feel it is a positive trend. Computers are counted as a drawback in our society by a few people because they feel that humans face more problems due to high usage of computers. For example, many youngsters are sticking to their screens and get addicted to their laptops or computers while learning. In addition, This trend has become an obsession, among teens rather than referring books and studying in groups they are totally depending on computer knowledge. Thus, this has been troubling many parents for their children sedentary lifestyle. However, it is not a big issue as parents can restrict them and help them with such situations. On the other hand, computers have become a key tool in the education field regarding in all subjects. Which not only encouraging students, but also teachers are motivated for better teaching standards as it has broadened horizons in educational tools. For instance, computers act as helping hand for both students and teachers where learning process has become more feasible and enjoyable. Thus, it makes various complex tasks more flexible. Therefore, draw more student attention towards studies. In conclusion, while some think using computers bring good change in education, other feel it not a good idea to include computers so much in the learning process. Because children will absolutely depend on computers for information, whereas it open up many doors of knowledge and learning in easy way. In my opinion, I think this is definitely a good change
Technology has been
rapidly
growing in the last decade.
“Where” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Where
computers are becoming an essential need in the whole education system. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is beneficial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact along. In this essay will discuss both the sides of arguments and support my opinion, why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend.

Computers
are counted
as a drawback in our society by a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that humans face more problems due to high usage of computers.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters are sticking to their screens and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to their laptops or computers while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
In addition
, This trend has become an obsession, among teens
rather
than referring books and studying in groups they are
totally
depending on computer knowledge.
Thus
, this has been troubling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents for their children sedentary lifestyle.
However
, it is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue as parents can restrict them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them with such situations.

On the other hand
, computers have become a key tool in the education field regarding in all subjects. Which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
encouraging students,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
teachers
are motivated
for better teaching standards as it has broadened horizons in educational tools.
For instance
, computers act as helping hand for both students and teachers where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process has become more feasible and enjoyable.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
various complex tasks more flexible.
Therefore
, draw more student attention towards studies.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
using computers bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in education, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
it not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to include computers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
children will
absolutely
depend on computers for information, whereas it open up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doors of knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
in easy way. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is definitely a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
change
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay computers are being used more and more in education. some people say that this a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts