Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion v.12

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. 12
There is an ever-increasing use of technology, such as tablets and laptops, in the classroom. While some people consider it as a positive development, others believe it is resulting in detrimental effects. Both sides of this argument will be analysed in the essay before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. People believe that computers have adverse effects on education as they lead to the low quality of teaching methods. It limits teacher-student interaction, which causes less understanding of the subject and thus a reason for shallow learning. For example, according to a study, 80% students lose their concentration in the lecture when the teacher solely utilises presentation style for teaching. Therefore, the extensive use of computers causes less student-teacher contact, ultimately resulting in compromised knowledge. On the other hand, computers have brought revolutionised advances in education. The subject matter can be simulated and visualised using different software of a computer, which helps in grasping the information more easily. For instance, medical students from secondary schools who adopt the use of videos available on YouTube to understand the functioning of organ systems scored higher grades as compared to those who relied only on books. Thus, advanced features from computers enhance and improve the quality of education. In conclusion, the positive and negative consequences of computers in education are debatable. Some people think that it has lowered the education standards by broadening the gaps between students and teachers, while others believe that it has made improvements in the learning processes. In my point of view, making use of computers in education is a beneficial and productive development.
There is an ever-increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology, such as tablets and laptops, in the classroom. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider it as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, others believe it is resulting in detrimental effects. Both sides of this argument will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
in the essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a reasoned conclusion
is drawn
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believe that computers have adverse effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as they lead to the low quality of teaching methods. It limits teacher-student interaction, which causes less understanding of the subject and
thus
a reason for shallow learning.
For example
, according to a study, 80% students lose their concentration in the lecture when the teacher
solely
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilises' is British English.
utilises
presentation style for teaching.
Therefore
, the extensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers causes less student-teacher contact,
ultimately
resulting in compromised knowledge.

On the other hand
, computers have brought
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
advances in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "subject".
subject matter
can
be simulated
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'visualised' is British English.
visualised
using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
software of a computer, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in grasping the information more
easily
.
For instance
, medical students from secondary schools who adopt the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of videos available on YouTube to understand the functioning of organ systems scored higher grades as compared to those who relied
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on books.
Thus
, advanced features from computers enhance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of education.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of computers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are debatable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it has lowered the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
standards by broadening the gaps between students and teachers, while others believe that it has made improvements in the learning processes. In my point of view, making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a beneficial and productive development.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts