Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. v.1

Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. v. 1
Since ancient times, technology has been driving the human growth story. Nowadays, the computers are doing to everything, right from cleaning the floor to assembling the cars, they are playing huge role in the life of the general public. To train the kids, many schools started teaching the children about computers as part of their academics. In my opinion, it is the only way forward and all the schools should be encouraged to teach the technology. One of the main benefits of teaching kids about the computers is innovation. Today’s world is technology driven and most of the future jobs will be skill based. Teaching the next generation at the right age will drive future inventions in the field of science and technology. Abstracting them from the computers at school does no good to anyone. For example, people who were born in 1980’s and 1990’s can handle the technology well when compared to the people from 60’s and 70’s. It is because the younger ones are trained on computing in schools and universities. There are couple of downsides to this strategy, due to the excess time being spent on computers and less time interacting with others, kids might feel isolated and less confident. There are many instances where the children spend most of their time on mobile devices rather than on a playground. Because of which the obesity has become a major issue at the minor age. For example, many studies proved that the average weight of the youth is increasing in the developed countries due to physical inactivity. One of the main reasons is technology addiction. To conclude, in my opinion, computers must be part of the academia because they have become intricate part of human life. Avoiding or delaying is not going to serve any purpose and of course, the side effects should be taken in to account while designing the curriculum.
Since ancient
times
,
technology
has been driving the human growth story. Nowadays, the computers are doing to everything, right from cleaning the floor to assembling the cars, they are playing huge role in the life of the
general public
. To train the kids,
many
schools
started
teaching the children about computers as part of their academics. In my opinion, it is the
only
way forward and all the
schools
should
be encouraged
to teach the technology.

One of the main benefits of teaching kids about the computers is innovation.
Today
’s world is
technology
driven and most of the future jobs will be
skill
based. Teaching the
next
generation at the right age will drive future inventions in the field of science and
technology
. Abstracting them from the computers at
school
does no
good
to anyone.
For example
,
people
who
were born
in 1980’s
and
1990’s
can handle the
technology
well when compared to the
people
from
60’s
and
70’s
. It is
because
the younger ones
are trained
on computing in
schools
and universities.

There are
couple of
downsides to this strategy, due to the excess
time
being spent
on computers and less
time
interacting with others, kids might feel isolated and less confident. There are
many
instances where the children spend most of their
time
on mobile devices
rather
than on a playground.
Because
of which the obesity has become a major issue at the minor age.
For example
,
many
studies proved that the average weight of the youth is increasing in the
developed countries
due to physical inactivity. One of the main reasons is
technology
addiction.

To conclude
, in my opinion, computers
must
be part of the academia
because
they have become intricate part of human life. Avoiding or delaying is not going to serve any purpose and
of course
, the side effects should
be taken
in to account while designing the curriculum.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts