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Computer Technology is getting cheaper and so it is likely that adults will be working from home and children will study from home. Is it a positive or negative development? v.1

Computer Technology is getting cheaper and so it is likely that adults will be working from home and children will study from home. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1
In recent years, the rising average body mass of people as well as the rapidly deteriorating well-being and fitness have become a pressing issue. This essay will deeply explore this complicated phenomenon and bring up some feasible solutions. Chief among the causes of the problem is the lack of physical activity. It has been proven that such activities, namely running, swimming or other sports, will give rise to an exceedingly healthy nation, as the intensive exercises burn body weight. Moreover, the rapid development of science and technology may as well be an indirect culprit of the issue. That numerous people are glued to screens is undeniable, perhaps even an understatement. This established mode of communication eliminates the need of transportation, thus tremendously reducing the burned calories on the way. The most frequently stressed on is the abundance of food, where, when over-consumed, poses a threat to obesity levels of citizens, coupled with a worsening well-being and fitness. These, therefore, are the causes to keep in mind when faced with such problems. Confronted with such a thorny issue, people come up with a variety of constructive countermeasures. First of all, it is of paramount importance that exercise is encouraged. Not only does such activity to assist weight loss, but also will strengthen the bones. Furthermore, it is advisable to reduce screen time for communication. Users, alternatively, can take the initiative to physically present themselves to chat. To illustrate, dieting is an excellent method to cut down on mass. Rather than consuming substantial amounts of processed foods and sugars, one should intake a balanced meal for optimal energy. In conclusion, when everyone is aware of the risks of increasing weight and deteriorating strength, and takes viable measures to tackle such challenging obstacle, it is conceivable that national fitness will be restored.
In recent years, the rising average body mass of
people
as well
as the
rapidly
deteriorating well-being and fitness have become a pressing issue. This essay will
deeply
explore this complicated phenomenon and bring up
some
feasible solutions.

Chief among the causes of the problem is the lack of physical activity. It has
been proven
that such activities,
namely
running, swimming or other sports, will give rise to an
exceedingly
healthy nation, as the intensive exercises burn body weight.
Moreover
, the rapid development of science and technology may
as well
be an indirect culprit of the issue. That numerous
people
are glued
to screens is undeniable, perhaps even an understatement. This established mode of communication eliminates the need of transportation,
thus
tremendously
reducing the burned calories on the way. The most
frequently
stressed
on is the abundance of food, where, when over-consumed, poses a threat to obesity levels of citizens, coupled with a worsening well-being and fitness. These,
therefore
, are the causes to
keep
in mind when faced with such problems.

Confronted with such a thorny issue,
people
come
up with a variety of constructive countermeasures.
First of all
, it is of paramount importance that exercise
is encouraged
. Not
only
does such activity to assist weight loss,
but
also
will strengthen the bones.
Furthermore
, it is advisable to
reduce
screen time for communication. Users,
alternatively
, can take the initiative to
physically
present themselves to chat. To illustrate, dieting is an excellent method to
cut
down on mass.
Rather
than consuming substantial amounts of processed foods and sugars, one should intake a balanced meal for optimal energy.

In conclusion
, when everyone is aware of the
risks
of increasing weight and deteriorating strength, and takes viable measures to tackle such challenging obstacle, it is conceivable that national fitness will
be restored
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Computer Technology is getting cheaper and so it is likely that adults will be working from home and children will study from home. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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