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Computer technologies are more accessible and cheaper, as a result, more adults work at home and children learn at home. Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

Computer technologies are more accessible and cheaper, as a result, more adults work at home and children learn at home. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1
There is no scepticism that environment which has been deteriorating at each successive day. So, experts throughout the developing and developed nations assert that authority should have onus to preserve the nature, not masses as they do nothing. I think in reverse manner and disagree with given notion which I will discuss in subsequent paragraphs. Elucidating the aspect, there are ample, powerful and daily evidences that government would be responsible for protect nature from devastation. Primary reason, the laws would be imposed by bureaucrats. For instance, one of the major factors of deforestation is plastic products like plastic bags and bottles and it can be halted if governors issue an official ban on all companies from utilizing plastic packaging. What is more, since administration officers agree to impose high penalties on wood cutting, deforestation can be reduced. To illustrate, long-term imprisonment and heavy fines, on those who cut down the trees illegally. A recent research by UK showed that 80% of deforestation declined due to strict punishment rules towards plants cutting. Ergo, it is not only protecting the wildlife, but reduce the pollution in the environment. Illuminating the opponent's opinion, counter claim that an individual can save the nature by decrease the demand for products. Nevertheless, I believe that since people have some fundamental requirements which are essential to habitat on the earth. Consequently, to fulfil those basic entails, people had better demand for goods. In conclusion, it can be reiterated that, albeit punishments modified the individual's lifestyle, but it is important to save the ecosystem. Unless government could take action, no one protects the environment from damage.
There is no
scepticism
that environment which has been deteriorating at each successive day.
So
, experts throughout the developing and developed nations assert that authority should have onus to preserve the nature, not masses as they do nothing. I
think
in reverse manner and disagree with
given
notion which I will discuss in subsequent paragraphs.

Elucidating the aspect, there are ample, powerful and daily evidences that
government
would be responsible for protect nature from devastation. Primary reason, the laws would
be imposed
by bureaucrats.
For instance
, one of the major factors of deforestation is plastic products like plastic bags and bottles and it can
be halted
if governors issue an official ban on all
companies
from utilizing plastic packaging.

What is more
, since administration officers
agree
to impose high penalties on wood cutting, deforestation can be
reduced
. To illustrate, long-term imprisonment and heavy fines, on those who
cut
down the trees
illegally
. A recent research by UK
showed
that 80% of deforestation declined due to strict punishment
rules
towards plants cutting. Ergo, it is not
only
protecting the wildlife,
but
reduce
the pollution in the environment.

Illuminating the opponent's opinion,
counter claim
that an individual can save the nature by decrease the demand for products.
Nevertheless
, I believe that since
people
have
some
fundamental requirements which are essential to habitat on the earth.
Consequently
, to fulfil those basic entails,
people
had better demand for
goods
.

In conclusion
, it can
be reiterated
that, albeit punishments modified the individual's lifestyle,
but
it is
important
to save the ecosystem. Unless
government
could take action, no one protects the environment from damage.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Computer technologies are more accessible and cheaper, as a result, more adults work at home and children learn at home. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
268 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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