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Computer technologies are more accessible and cheaper, as the result, more adults’ work at home and children study at home. Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

Computer technologies are more accessible and cheaper, as the result, more adults’ work at home and children study at home. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1
This Line graph visualises the number of people travelling in an underground station in London which also showcase additional information comprises with it. Usually, the Line graph has two relative aspects of the data. Likewise, here also they took passengers count and the Time from 6: 00 to 22: 00 which shows the number of people travel in the particular time. These passengers numbers were taken in an underground station in London. At 8: 00, There were around 400 people using this underground station But at 6: 00 and 16: 00 there were few in number nearly 100. Along this graph, It was more fluctuated and don't have any steady number unlike in a few hours between 11: 30 and 14: 00. The given line graph which starts increasing in the early morning, decrease after 8: 00 and also again start to increase after 10: 00 but not as same in the beginning of the day. After the few hours of the increase it starts maintain a steady plateau for the two hours. Although, There were a more fluctuation found in post mid time on comparing with the pre mid time. Even Though it got to fall after 18: 00, After it reaches the 20: 00 it starts to rise up. Despite of the number it comprises that there were also some passengers are there who travel in the late night. At the last hour also the number is not at all less than the starting number. To summarise this graph, Even they have more variation in their count, It always maintains a considerable count in spite of their time.
This Line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
Possible spelling mistake. 'visualises' is British English.
visualises
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelling in an underground station in London which
also
showcase additional information comprises with it.

Usually
, the Line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
has two relative aspects of the data.
Likewise
, here
also
they took passengers count and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
from 6: 00 to 22: 00 which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travel in the particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. These passengers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
were taken
in an underground station in London. At 8: 00, There were around 400
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using this underground station
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at 6: 00 and 16: 00 there were few in
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number
nearly
100. Along this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
, It was more fluctuated and don't have any steady
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number
unlike in a few
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hours
between 11: 30 and 14: 00.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
which
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starts
increasing in the early morning, decrease after 8: 00 and
also
again
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start
to increase after 10: 00
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not as same in the beginning of the day. After the few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of the increase it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
starts
maintain a steady plateau for the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, There were a more fluctuation found in post mid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on comparing with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre
mid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Even Though
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to fall after 18: 00, After it reaches the 20: 00 it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
starts
to rise up.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
the
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number
it comprises that there were
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
passengers are there who travel in the late night. At the last
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hour
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
is not at all less than the starting number.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
, Even they have more variation in their count, It always maintains a considerable count
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Computer technologies are more accessible and cheaper, as the result, more adults’ work at home and children study at home. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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