Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.12

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. 12
It is controversial issues that, growing number of people claim that it is parent's responsibility to guide their kids to be great citizens, while others believe school is the important place to educate good behaviour. However, I believe that both must be influencing a major role in youngsters' habits. On the one hand, there are clear arguments that parents should teach children how to be good members. One of the main reasons for that parents are the first people and role models for all the children have seen first in their life, this means that kids spend most of the spare time with their parents and they are mostly interacting with them, therefore, definitely, children will listen to their guidance as well as parents have lots of experience in their prior times which helps their child. To illustrate, from my personal experience parents are the first people thought me a good manners and structure of the society. Which is so helpful to me when I grew up as an adult. On the other hand, the rest of the people are arguing that schools are the place to learn to be good members of society. There are several reasons for that first of all, other than parents kids spend more time in school with teachers, In other words, after certain age youngsters are schooling to gain knowledge while they are studying moreover, schools are never missing to coach their students about habits and how to live with other human beings in a proper way. For example, In China, the government implements good behaviors from their school learning syllabus to mould their young bloods. In conclusion, both of them have merits on balance, However, I tend to believe that parents and institutions having a major role to produce decant civilians to the world.
It is controversial issues that, growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that it is parent's responsibility to guide their kids to be great citizens, while others believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
However
, I believe that both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be influencing a major role in youngsters' habits.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
arguments that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach children how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
members. One of the main reasons for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and role models for all the children have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
in their life, this means that kids spend most of the spare time with their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parents and
they are
mostly
interacting with them,
therefore
, definitely, children will listen to their guidance
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have lots of experience in their prior times which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
their child. To illustrate, from my personal experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
me a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners and structure of the society. Which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
helpful to me when I grew up as an adult.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are arguing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are the place to learn to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
members of society. There are several reasons for that
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
kids spend more time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with teachers, In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, after certain age youngsters are schooling to gain knowledge while they are studying
moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are never
The verb 'missing' is used with the gerund form: "missing coaching".
missing to coach
their students about habits and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
human beings
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
.
For example
, In China, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
implements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
behaviors from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
learning syllabus to
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
their young bloods.

In conclusion
, both of them have merits on balance,
However
, I tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and institutions having a major role to produce decant civilians to the world.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts