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Computer games is very popular in all ages and nation. Parents it has little educational value and more harmful effects what is your opinion about this. Give example based on your own experience. v.2

Computer games is very popular in all ages and nation. Parents it has little educational value and more harmful effects what is your opinion about this. Give example based on your own experience. v. 2
Nowadays people are Indulged in sedentary lifestyle so, instead of going out they play computer games which attracts people of all generations. Elders think that it adds few value to education and more detrimental impact so, in this essay, discuss about my opinion on this along with examples. Games plays a pivotal role in everyone' s life, it also benefits plethora of ways but masses prefer to play games on computer instead in outdoor that is an aggravated situation. Computer games impact on health by two ways firstly, it impacts on health because when a person play game one keeps a continuous eye on Television which deteriorate the vision coma along with this it leads to obesity hence, more health problems which is grimming concern. Secondly, no problem can be overcomed with changing in lifestyle but these games create a long lasting impact on Mental Health. If a person plays a fighting game they become more violent and impatient. On the other hand, sometimes computer games can help in build mental abilities such as, for juveniles special games are made for learning numbers, alphabets and poems. Although, there are some games which increase verbal ability for instance, in some colleges and University, how to make a concept more clear they use simulators for business plan, production which students relish. Moreover, fun games that actually violent for example, vice City, where one has Liberty to kill any person at any time. By concluding this, no Doubt, computer games have long lasting impact physically and mentally but it also ruin the lifestyle also. So, once you' d prefer to give less time in computer game more time in outdoor games.
Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are Indulged
in sedentary lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
instead
of going out they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which attracts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of all generations. Elders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
Possible agreement error. The noun value seems to be countable; consider using: "few values".
few value
to education and more detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, in this essay,
Did you mean simply "discuss my"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about my
opinion on this along with examples.

Games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
a pivotal role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
everyone&
#039; s life, it
also
benefits plethora of ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
masses prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on computer
instead
in outdoor
that is
an aggravated situation. Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by two ways
firstly
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
game one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
a continuous eye on Television which deteriorate the vision coma along with this it leads to obesity
hence
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
grimming
concern.
Secondly
, no problem can be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "overcame", the past tense form of the verb 'overcome'?
overcomed
with changing in lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
create a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on Mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
. If a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
a fighting game they become more violent and impatient.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in build mental abilities such as, for juveniles special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are made
for learning numbers, alphabets and poems. Although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which increase verbal ability
for instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
colleges and University, how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a concept more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
simulators for business plan, production which students relish.
Moreover
, fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that actually violent
for example
, vice City, where one has Liberty to kill any person at any time.

By concluding this, no Doubt, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
physically
and mentally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
Did you mean "ruins"?
ruin
the lifestyle
also
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, once
Possible spelling mistake found.
you&
#039; d prefer to give less time in computer game more time in outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Computer games is very popular in all ages and nation. Parents it has little educational value and more harmful effects what is your opinion about this. Give example based on your own experience. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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