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Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion. v.3

Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. v. 3
The computer is becoming more and more popular in modern life. There are some people believe that these technological devices bring more beneficial for young people, while others disagree and think it will lead to adverse ramifications. In my opinion, I agree that an increase in technology is beneficial to students following reasons below. It is clear that devices that accessed the internet has provided students to get more information than ever before. Moreover, learners will be able to research and download data in numerous sources from the internet. Especially, students may have a chance to approach the advanced learning methods like study online, instead of going to school. For example, topical is a brand new in providing online learning products for everyone and as long as having an internet-connected device, students can learn everywhere and every time. Therefore, technology is a worthwhile tool for education. On the other hand, some people argued that the computer is leading to negative consequences that technology deprives people of real human interaction. Human interaction teaches people valuable skills such as discourse, debate. Despite this, human interaction is still possible to learn through the internet. For instance, Zalo, facebook make it possible for people to interact in ways that were never before possible. In conclusion, while the benefits of technology, particularly the internet, allow students can break the limit of knowledge from school and tap into limitless sources of information, some still feel that people should be wary of lacking the interaction on the internet. However, as long as we are careful to keep in mind the importance of human interaction in education, learning through computer still bring to students more positive things.
The computer is becoming more and more popular in modern life. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that these technological devices bring more beneficial for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while others disagree and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will lead to adverse ramifications. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
following reasons below.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that devices that accessed the internet has provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Moreover
, learners will be able to research and download data in numerous sources from the internet.
Especially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may have a chance to approach the advanced learning methods
Did you mean "to"?
like
study online,
instead
of going to school.
For example
, topical is a
'brand new' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "brand-new".
brand new
in providing online learning products for everyone and as long as having an internet-connected device,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn everywhere and every time.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is a worthwhile tool for education.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that the computer is leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
deprives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as discourse, debate. Despite this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
is
still
possible to learn through the internet.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zalo
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to interact in ways that were never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
possible.

In conclusion
, while the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
particularly
the internet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can break the limit of knowledge from school and tap into limitless sources of information,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be wary of lacking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
on the internet.
However
, as long as we are careful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
in education, learning through computer
still
bring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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