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Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. v. 1
It is a true fact that with the advent of technology learning methods has undergone a drastic change in the education system globally. In this case some people believe use of computers in the education sector is welcome change while others have an opposite opinion about it. However, this essay will examine both sides of an arguement before deducing a reasonable conclusion. Introduction to computers can bring in a lot of ill effects to the students. This will not only bring a detrimental effect physically on their eyes but will also reduce the student teacher relationship. For example, a lot of universities offering pre-recorded video lectures instead of live lectures. These arrangements cannot accommodate back and forth questions between teachers and students, leading to a learning difficulty. On the other hand, laptops have bought in a positive change in the way learning can happen. It provides powerful tools like Microsoft Excel and PowerPoint. For example, Microsoft Excel helps analysing the data in an efficient manner and PowerPoint help presenting in the form of graphs, bar charts etc. Computers also helps storing the past information in the digital form and can be extracted whenever required, which eradicates the need to store in the notebooks. These positive trends are increasingly becoming popular in various schools. In conclusion, computers has redefined the way learning can happen and in future it will play an even bigger role. In my opinion rising use of computers is a positive phenomenon rather than it becoming a negative trend.
It is a true fact that with the advent of technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
methods has undergone a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the education system globally.
In this case
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers in the education sector is welcome
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
while others have an opposite opinion about it.
However
, this essay will examine both sides of an
Possible spelling mistake found.
arguement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deducing a reasonable conclusion.

Introduction to computers can bring in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
ill effects to the students. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring a detrimental effect
physically
on their eyes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the student teacher relationship.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
universities offering pre-recorded video lectures
instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
lectures. These arrangements cannot accommodate back and forth questions between teachers and students, leading to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
difficulty.

On the other hand
, laptops have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
can happen. It provides powerful tools like Microsoft Excel and PowerPoint.
For example
, Microsoft Excel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
The verb 'helps' is used with an infinitive: "to analyse" or "analyse".
analysing
the data
Consider replacing "in an efficient manner" with the adverb for "efficient"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an efficient manner
and PowerPoint
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to present" or "present".
presenting
in the form of graphs, bar charts etc. Computers
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
The verb 'helps' is used with an infinitive: "to store" or "store".
storing
the past information in the digital form and can
be extracted
whenever required, which eradicates the need to store in the notebooks. These
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trends are
increasingly
becoming popular in various schools.

In conclusion
, computers has redefined the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
can happen and in future it will play an even bigger role. In my opinion rising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
phenomenon
rather
than it becoming a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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