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Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discus both sides and give your opinion. v.2

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discus both sides and give your opinion. v. 2
Higher education is increasingly popular, especially among young adults. Many people think university degree is the most important thing to secure a good position in an organization, while others believe that having experience and soft skills are good enough to excel in one’s career. In my opinion, a university degree is essential to secure a good spot, whereas soft skills and prior knowledge helps you perform your job well. On the one hand, many of us think it is easier for most of the people to find a good opportunity in their career, if they have higher education from reputed institution. This is the reason why we have overwhelming competition among young adults to get an admission in good universities here in Pakistan, even people tend to pursue their tertiary education abroad. It is also observed in many advertisements where it is specifically mentioned, in the minimum education requirement that “University Degree is a must”. In addition to this, there are many professions where it is impossible to work without degree for instance, medical, law and teaching to name but a few. Therefore, it is obvious how important is to get a good degree to secure one’s career. On the other hand, although, having work experience and soft skills such as good communication and leadership skill through the balance in favour of the applicant, but it all depends on the position being applied for. For example, if the company required a university graduate, only soft skills will not help the contender to secure an appointment It is often noticed when there are multiple candidates are shortlisted for a single position with the same kind of degree, this is the soft skills or extra knowledge, which matters at the end of the day. In conclusion, however, higher study is the most important thing to secure a job depending on the type of work or field, but we cannot deny the importance of soft skills and experience. People should focus on both sides for not only getting the job, but to sustain in the market.
Higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
increasingly
popular,
especially
among young adults.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
position in an organization, while others believe that having experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to excel in one’s career. In my opinion, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
spot, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and prior knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you perform your job well.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is easier for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
opportunity in their career, if they have higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from reputed institution. This is the reason why we have overwhelming competition among young adults to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an admission in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
here in Pakistan, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to pursue their tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
abroad. It is
also
observed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advertisements where it is
specifically
mentioned, in the minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
requirement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Degree
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
”.
In addition
to this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professions where it is impossible to work without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
for instance
, medical, law and teaching
Did you mean "naming"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'teach' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few.
Therefore
, it is obvious how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
one’s career.

On the other hand
, although, having work experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
communication and leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
through the balance in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the applicant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it all depends on the position
being applied
for.
For example
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
required a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the contender to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
an appointment It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
noticed when there are multiple candidates
are shortlisted
for a single position with the same kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, this is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
or extra knowledge, which matters at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day.

In conclusion
,
however
, higher study is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
a job depending on the type of work or field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we cannot deny the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and experience.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should focus on both sides for not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
getting the job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to sustain in the market.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discus both sides and give your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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