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Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discus both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discus both sides and give your opinion. v. 1
Providing education to every child is the order of the day for their better future. Many people think university degree is the most important thing to secure a good job, while others believe that having experience and soft skills are good enough to excel in one’s career. In my opinion, university degree is essential to secure a good job whereas soft skills and experience helps you perform your job well. On the one hand, many of us think it is easier to for most of the people to find a good job if they are university graduates with a good degree. This is the reason why we have overwhelming competition among young adults to get an admission in good universities here in Pakistan, even people tend to pursue their tertiary education abroad. It is also observed in many job advertisements where it is specifically mentioned in minimum education requirement that “University Degree is must”. In addition to this, there are many professions where it is impossible to work without degree for instance, medical, law and teach to name but a few. Therefore, it is obvious how important is to get a good degree to secure one’s career. On the other hand, although, having work experience and soft skills such as good communication and leadership skill through the balance in favour of the applicant, but it all depends on the position being applied for. For instance, if the company required a university graduate, only soft skills will not help the contender to secure the job. It is often noticed when there are multiple candidates are shortlisted for a single position with the same kind of degree, this is the soft skills or extra knowledge, which matters at the end of the day. In conclusion, although degree is the most important thing to secure a job depending on the type of work or field, but we cannot deny the importance of soft skills and experience. People should focus on both sides for not only getting the job but to sustain in the market.
Providing education to every child is the order of the day for their better future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, while others believe that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to excel in one’s career. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you perform your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
well.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is easier to for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
if they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
. This is the reason why we have overwhelming competition among young adults to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an admission in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
here in Pakistan, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to pursue their tertiary education abroad. It is
also
observed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
advertisements where it is
specifically
mentioned in minimum education requirement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Degree
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
”.
In addition
to this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professions where it is impossible to work without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
for instance
, medical, law and teach
Did you mean "naming"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'teach' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few.
Therefore
, it is obvious how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
one’s career.

On the other hand
, although, having work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
communication and leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
through the balance in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the applicant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it all depends on the position
being applied
for.
For instance
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
required a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the contender to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
noticed when there are multiple candidates
are shortlisted
for a single position with the same kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, this is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
or extra knowledge, which matters at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
depending on the type of work or field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we cannot deny the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should focus on both sides for not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
getting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to sustain in the market.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
56Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discus both sides and give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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