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Completing university education is thought by some to be the best job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.2

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. v. 2
Education carries out an imperative role in the life of an individual, and ostensibly a child spends more time in educational institutions than homes since time immemorial. A consensus, the best job in life is to complete university schooling, is advocated by some people. While other avert that view, and place more emphasis on learning practical skills to be more successful in life. Both these aspects will be expressed into the light, and will follow by my opinion on the viewpoint in words of one syllable. A fraction of humans is fortunate enough to get a chance to obtain training from recognised educational establishments as not many people find a way to gain enough qualification after their school due to various reasons including lack of finances and hard luck in obtaining admissions. To do few jobs such as a teacher and a doctor, exceptional degrees from higher educational institutions are mandatory without which, one is not qualified to enter into that scenario. Additionally, an intellectual person has gained self-confidence and insight which render him to stand high in any situation without hesitation. Paradoxically, value of skills and practical experience is given more weight-age by fraction of people. There are numerous jobs for which practical wisdom and experience is much needed in comparison to a university degree. Most of the businesses worldwide required soft skills. Moreover, skilled workers are demanded globally irrespectively of their learning, however, every country has their own literacy standards which might or might not fit in any other country. In such a way, the importance of learning cannot overpower the practical ability of a person, and both are equally useful. In my view, if one is interested in acquiring educational qualification, and have the proper means to gain that, he must attain the same. On the other hand, if an individual expresses at least interest in studies, but have hidden skills to acquire practical expertise, he should not be forced to do studies. This is the best way to establish the balance between the categories of people based on their discipline and skills which consequently fulfil all kinds of requirements.
Education carries out an imperative role in the life of an individual, and
ostensibly
a child spends more time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions than homes since time immemorial. A consensus, the best job in life is to complete university schooling,
is advocated
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While other avert that view, and place more emphasis on learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to be more successful in life. Both these aspects will
be expressed
into the light, and will follow by my opinion on the viewpoint in words of one syllable.

A fraction of humans is fortunate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to obtain training from
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
establishments as not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find a way to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
qualification after their school due to various reasons including lack of finances and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
luck in obtaining admissions. To do few jobs such as a teacher and a doctor, exceptional degrees from higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions are mandatory without which, one is not qualified to enter into that scenario.
Additionally
, an intellectual person has gained self-confidence and insight which render him to stand high in any situation without hesitation.

Paradoxically
, value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
experience is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more weight-age by fraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are numerous jobs for which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
wisdom and experience is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
in comparison
to a university degree. Most of the businesses worldwide required soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Moreover
, skilled workers
are demanded
globally
irrespectively
of their learning,
however
, every country has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
literacy standards which might or might not fit in any other country.

In such a way, the importance of learning cannot overpower the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
ability of a person, and both are
equally
useful. In my view, if one
is interested
in acquiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
qualification, and have the proper means to gain that, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
attain the same.
On the other hand
, if an individual expresses at least interest in studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
expertise, he should not
be forced
to do studies. This is the best way to establish the balance between the categories of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
based on their discipline and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which
consequently
fulfil all kinds of requirements.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Completing university education is thought by some to be the best job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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