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Complaining to a LandlordYou have been living in a rental apartment for the past year. Recently a new neighbour moved in who has loud parties several times a week. Write a letter complaining about this to the landlord. In your letter: explain the situation v.1

Complaining to a LandlordYou have been living in a rental apartment for the past year. Recently a new neighbour moved in who has loud parties several times a week. Write a letter complaining about this to the landlord. In your letter: explain the situation v. 1
Various subjects are taught at the educational institutions. While some believe that learning music lessons should be considered as an essential part of the school curriculum, I believe that this time should be used more efficiently to teach subjects which can help them to get a job in future. On the one hand, the people who emphasize on the importance of music lessons at the schools might argue that it can not only help in increasing cognitive thinking of a child, but can also grow their interest in that field. As a result, this can also help them in pursuing it in future and making a career out of it. For instance, the great Indian female single Lata Mangeshkar started with her Sitar lessons at a very young age, which helped her to become an adept of her field. Subsequently, it is a scientifically proven fact that listening to some music or playing any musical instrument can improve the concentration power of a person. However, I firmly believe that the percentage of students who take music as their profession are paltry. Hence, it is essential to teach them skills which are more generalised and can help the majority of students. Additionally, these skills should also increase the probability of future career success. For example, Mathematics and basic Computer knowledge are indispensable skills in today's working environments, and teaching them would give better future opportunities to the students. Therefore, schools should be more concerned about teaching such subjects rather that extra-curriculum ones. In conclusion, although there are advantages of teaching music at a school such as increasing concentration power and some career opportunities, I think that it is better to teach more demanding subjects at schools because it can help children in their future workplaces.
Various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are taught
at the educational institutions. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
lessons should
be considered
as an essential part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum, I believe that this time should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more
efficiently
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

On the one hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who emphasize on the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
lessons at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
might argue that it can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in increasing cognitive thinking of a child,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
also
grow their interest in that field.
As a result
, this can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in pursuing it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and making a career out of it.
For instance
, the great Indian female single
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lata
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mangeshkar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with her Sitar lessons at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
her to become an adept of her field.
Subsequently
, it is a
scientifically
proven fact that listening to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or playing any musical instrument can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the concentration power of a person.

However
, I
firmly
believe that the percentage of students who take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as their profession are paltry.
Hence
, it is essential to teach them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are more
Possible spelling mistake. 'generalised' is British English.
generalised
and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the majority of students.
Additionally
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
should
also
increase the probability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
career success.
For example
, Mathematics and basic Computer knowledge are indispensable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's working environments, and teaching them would give better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
opportunities to the students.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should be more concerned about teaching such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
rather
that extra-curriculum ones.

In conclusion
, although there are advantages of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
such as increasing concentration power and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
career opportunities, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better to teach more demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
children in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
workplaces.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Complaining to a LandlordYou have been living in a rental apartment for the past year. Recently a new neighbour moved in who has loud parties several times a week. Write a letter complaining about this to the landlord. In your letter: explain the situation v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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