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Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the country side v.1

Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the country side v. 1
Nowadays, most people want to live in town because they think livelihood in townships has more benefits compared to small communities. However, some other individuals like to live in a mini vicinity that is less crowded than large town. This essay would discuss both views of life in the village. Firstly, leading liveliness in rural areas has many advantages in several aspects like citizens helping each other and because of that, the bond between them is strong without misunderstandings and they know everyone else very well. Even though, the locality is tiny in size the environment is healthier which consists of fresh plants, no pollution e. t. c. Thereby the quality of life is better than the mankind surviving existence in large areas. Secondly, however, there are drawbacks like lack of knowledge about the new world and also poverty, weak social skills, less chance for developing business, whereas the big localities have better access to education and healthcare and also the persons are broad-minded. Coming to technology, countryside humans have limited connection to scientific knowledge and technical cognition and as a result, they have less acquaintance with the growing world. Nevertheless, regarding the accessibility to the education, important goods, shops, and so forth, pocket-sized towns can tackle this problem. Nonetheless, inhabitants of undersized towns can purchase any goods from urban zone and also they can go for better education to the metropolis. From my personal standpoint, while living in a small village certainly has negative effects, I believe that positive impacts outweigh all those bad sides. Therefore, in order to get a better and more relaxing breath, I do believe that living in a small territory is a key for it.
Nowadays, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
livelihood in townships has more benefits compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
communities.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other individuals like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a mini vicinity
that is
less crowded than large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
. This essay would discuss both views of life in the village.

Firstly
, leading liveliness in rural areas has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages in several aspects like citizens helping each other and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that, the bond between them is strong without
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
misunderstandings and
they know everyone else
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
Even though
, the locality is
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
tiny in size
the environment is healthier which consists of fresh plants, no pollution e. t. c. Thereby the quality of life is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than the mankind surviving existence in large areas.

Secondly
,
however
, there are drawbacks like lack of knowledge about the new world and
also
poverty, weak social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, less chance for developing business, whereas the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
localities have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
access to education and healthcare and
also
the persons are broad-minded. Coming to technology, countryside humans have limited connection to scientific knowledge and technical cognition and
as a result
, they have less acquaintance with the growing world.

Nevertheless
, regarding the accessibility to the education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, shops, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth, pocket-sized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
can tackle this problem. Nonetheless, inhabitants of undersized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from urban zone and
also
they can go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education to the metropolis.

From my personal standpoint, while living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village
certainly
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts outweigh all those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides.
Therefore
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and more relaxing breath, I do believe that living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
territory is a key for it.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the country side v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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