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compare and contrast your way of living with that of your parents. which way life do you think would be more satisfying to future generations? v.2

compare and contrast your way of living with that of your parents. which way life do you think would be more satisfying to future generations? v. 2
There is lots of difference from the way I live and my parents due to the generation gap. A lot of things are evolved and society changed, the computation level is increased, technology and a lot more. Perhaps, I would prefer the way I live would be more satisfying for future generation because of following reasons. First of all, there is a drastic change in technology. for instance, I would prefer reading news or watch movies on my mobile or laptop, which cover almost all the information and it helps me to be up to date but my parents prefer reading a newspaper which may not cover everything. In addition, I know how to make use of technology likewise, I use mobile to make a call, use social media to keep in touch, read news, watch movies, play games, learn new things on the internet, but my parents are not updated in using it. They would rather prefer to make a phone call nothing else. Secondly, I like to travel, visit different places, learn new culture explore things, but my parents prefer to stay in home hardly they go out home, they font show much interest in trying new things. For example, last year we went to Dubai with my parents they didn' t like it that much, they complained about the food, culture. they are happy staying at home. Moreover, I like to go out with my friends, meet new people but as per my notice, my parents like there own company they don' t go out frequently if there is no work to do. Considering all the above reason, I would say it will be more satisfying for future generation to live like me because after few years the technology is going to evolve a lot more than now, they need to be updated and fast to meet the competition in world or else we will be left behind.
There is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of difference from the way I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
due to the generation gap. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of things
are evolved
and society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, the computation level
is increased
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
more. Perhaps, I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
the way I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
would be more satisfying for future generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of following reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there is a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies on my mobile or laptop, which cover almost all the information and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me to be up to date
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
reading a newspaper which may not cover everything.
In addition
, I know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
likewise
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a call,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social media to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch, read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies, play games, learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things on the internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not updated in using it. They would
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a phone call nothing else.

Secondly
, I like to travel, visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places, learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture explore things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to stay in home hardly they go out home,
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they font
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
much interest in trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
For example
, last year we went to Dubai with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t like it that much, they complained about the food, culture.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
are happy staying at home.
Moreover
, I like to go out with my friends,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as per my notice, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
like there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t go out
frequently
if there is no work to do.

Considering all the above reason, I would say it will be more satisfying for future generation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
like me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
after few years the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is going to evolve a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, they need to
be updated
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the competition in world or else we will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay compare and contrast your way of living with that of your parents. which way life do you think would be more satisfying to future generations? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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