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It is better for children to follow their parents' career instead of beginning a new job v.2

It is better for children to follow their parents' career instead of beginning a new job v. 2
There is no doubt that nowadays, choosing a job is one of the most crucial decisions in every individual' s life. The ever-increasing prominence of this issue has engendered this question as to whether should children follow their paren' s career or start a new job. Some people may cling to the idea that it is a wise idea for children to begin a career which differs from their parents, while I am of the opinion that it is more rational for individuals to pursue their parent' s job. There are numerous rationals, two of which I will explore in what follows. The first reason coming to mind is that by following their ancestors' carrier, individuals could elicit valuable points from their experiences to be more prosperous in their job. In the way of illustration, when a person initiates a new career, he has to learn every little thing on his own without any help. Therefore, it is more likely for this person to make a mistake in his job. On the contrary, when he follows his parent’s career, he could get lots of helpful information from them, and do his work in the best way. It is no secret that when an individual commences his career, while he is informed about every aspect of his work, he could be a more fruitful person than one who starts from zero without any knowledge and experience. My own experience is a compelling example of this reality. After college, I started my job in a primary school in our city as a teacher. I paniced at first because neither I had experience in teaching nor none of my family members. Thus, there was no one to advise me how to prepare for this career to have better efficiency. Also, parents of one of my colleagues who started her career at the same time were teachers. Accordingly, she came to school prepared and well-informed, while I even did not know what kind of dress I should wear for the first day. Undoubtedly, were my parent teacher as well, I would have begun my work more confidently like my colleague. The second ground which deserves some words here is that when we follow our parent' s work, we could take the advantages of their career. In other words, pursuing a family career could make us more well-known in our job and other people who related to our career would easily trust us. As a result, we could establish our work and be booming more quickly. For instance, my father is a well-known architect in our city. Consequently, my older sister, from an early age became interested in this field of study. As a result, she chose architecture as her major in university. After graduation, she began her career as an architect, and very rapidly she could take lots of projects thanks to name of my father. No one can deny the direct and indirect effects of being well-known in a career in successfulness in our work. This example demonstrates this reality that when we follow our parents' job, we have more chance to be victorious. On the whole, based on the points mentioned above, we can safely conclude that it is more logical to pursue our parents work because in this way not only we can use their experience in our work but also we can take advantage of their name to be well-known from the beginning.
There is no doubt that nowadays, choosing a
job
is one of the most crucial decisions in every
individual&
#039; s life. The ever-increasing prominence of this issue has engendered this question
as to whether
should children
follow
their
paren&
#039; s
career
or
start
a new
job
.
Some
people
may cling to the
idea
that it is a wise
idea
for children to
begin
a
career
which differs from their
parents
, while I am of the opinion that it is more rational for
individuals
to pursue their
parent&
#039; s
job
. There are numerous rationals, two of which I will explore in what follows.

The
first
reason coming to mind is that by following their
ancestors&
#039; carrier,
individuals
could elicit valuable points from their
experiences
to be more prosperous in their
job
. In the way of illustration, when a person initiates a new
career
, he
has to
learn every
little
thing on his
own
without any
help
.
Therefore
, it is more likely for this person to
make
a mistake in his
job
.
On the contrary
, when he
follows
his
parent’s
career
, he could
get
lots of helpful information from them, and do his
work
in the best way. It is no secret that when an
individual
commences his
career
, while he
is informed
about every aspect of his
work
, he could be a more fruitful person than one who
starts
from zero without any knowledge and
experience
. My
own
experience
is a compelling example of this reality. After college, I
started
my
job
in a primary school in our city as a teacher. I
paniced
at
first
because
neither I had
experience
in teaching nor none of my family members.
Thus
, there was no one to advise me how to prepare for this
career
to have better efficiency.
Also
,
parents
of one of my colleagues who
started
her
career
at the same time were teachers.
Accordingly
, she came to school prepared and well-informed, while I even did not know what kind of dress I should wear for the
first
day.
Undoubtedly
, were my
parent
teacher
as well
, I would have begun my
work
more
confidently
like my colleague.

The second ground which deserves
some
words here is that when we
follow
our
parent&
#039; s
work
, we could take the advantages of their
career
.
In other words
, pursuing a family
career
could
make
us more
well-known
in our
job
and other
people
who related to our
career
would
easily
trust us.
As a result
, we could establish our
work
and be booming more
quickly
.
For instance
, my father is a
well-known
architect in our city.
Consequently
, my older sister, from an early age became interested in this field of study.
As a result
, she chose architecture as her major in university. After graduation, she began her
career
as an architect, and
very
rapidly
she could take lots of projects thanks to name of my father. No one can deny the direct and indirect effects of being
well-known
in a
career
in successfulness in our
work
. This example demonstrates this reality that when we
follow
our
parents&
#039;
job
, we have more chance to be victorious.

On the whole
, based on the points mentioned above, we can
safely
conclude that it is more logical to pursue our
parents
work
because
in this way not
only
we can
use
their
experience
in our
work
but
also
we can take advantage of their name to be
well-known
from the beginning.
23Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better for children to follow their parents' career instead of beginning a new job v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
573 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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