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Compare and contrast that the way of life with that of your parents. Which way of life do you think would be more satisfying to future generations? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.2

Compare and contrast that the way of life with that of your parents. Which way of life do you think would be more satisfying to future generations? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2
Everything changes with the lapse of the time. The way which you live yesterday is not same which you are in today and will not be same in tomorrow. Because of the passes of the generation, the way of life which our ancesstors–especially parents, used to live is different which we do today. Definitely we are all human beings, some thing is same whether the time elapsed or not. In my view some way of life is necessary to revise from our ancesstors and we would be capable to make the fusion with between modern world for the betterment of future. First of all, our parents normally depend on the agriculture. All the family members engage in the farming and they are more or less dependen in the agriculture. But most of the young generations like myself in my country doesnot usually want to engage in that. They are interested in morden world like technology job, governmental officials and other civil servant sectors. Furthermore, our parents use to stay at home and want to spend whole life with the family. They rarely go to visit abroad, since people does not have enough money and even if they have, they want to transfer to their offsprings. They are worried about their children future. But we love to explore ourselves and learn the different culture around the world. I have travelled many countries even in this age. My parents want to celebrate different kind of Hindu culture very purely and they do not know more about the foreign culture. They are highly conscious about our religious values and norms but I do not know exactly how to celebrate even our biggest festival ' Dashain' . At last in my opinion there are many different impact on moden life because of the technology and globalization. We have to improve ourselvles and we have to preserve our culture and values too. The future generation would be more satisfying if they are able to make fusion between our traditional knowledge with modern tecnology.
Everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
with the lapse of the time. The way which you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
yesterday is not same which you are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and will not be same in tomorrow.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the passes of the generation, the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which our
Possible spelling mistake found.
ancesstors
–
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
which we do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Definitely we are all human beings,
Did you mean "something"?
some thing
is same whether the time elapsed or not. In my view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is necessary to revise from our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ancesstors and
we would be capable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the fusion with between modern world for the betterment of future.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
normally
depend on the agriculture. All the family members engage in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
farming and
they are more or less
Possible spelling mistake found.
dependen
in the agriculture.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
most of the young generations like myself in my country
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesnot
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to engage in that. They
are interested
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
morden
world like technology job, governmental officials and other civil servant sectors.
Furthermore
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
stay at home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to spend whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with the family. They rarely go to visit abroad, since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
does
not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money and even if they have, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to transfer to their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
. They
are worried
about their children future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to explore ourselves and learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
around the world. I have travelled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries even in this age. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to celebrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
kind of Hindu
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
purely and
they do not know more about the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. They are
highly
conscious about our religious values and norms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I do not know exactly how to celebrate even our biggest festival '
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dashain&
#039;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
At last in my opinion there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
impact on
Possible spelling mistake found.
moden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the technology and globalization. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ourselvles and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
preserve our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and values too. The future generation would be more satisfying if they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
fusion between our traditional knowledge with modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
tecnology
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Mistakes

IELTS essay Compare and contrast that the way of life with that of your parents. Which way of life do you think would be more satisfying to future generations? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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