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Compare and contrast that the way of life with that of your parents. Which way of life do you think would be more satisfying to future generations? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.1

Compare and contrast that the way of life with that of your parents. Which way of life do you think would be more satisfying to future generations? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 1
Education plays a vital role in every individual's life, regardless of their age, gender and nationality. A segment of people claims that the history is indispensable subject, it should be studied in schools, while other people oppose, that science and technology is necessarily subject for academic purpose rather than, history. In this essay I intend to delve both arguments, before forming an my own opinion. First school of thought claims that, the history is important topic, because with the help of this student get knowledge about our culture and language. This is imperative for pupils they will connect with their roots of culture. As a result, they will not follow to western culture, that has a number of negative consequences. Moreover, this study helps to know about the mistakes that were committed by ancestors and in today's scenario people should not repeat that. So, it helps to get productive results without committing any mistake. Along with this, children come to know through history, how much struggle was done by our freedom fighters for independent country. For example, in India I studied the subject of the past during my studies with the help of that I came to know about the struggle of freedom fighters and it gives me real motivation. Also, understand the value of an independent country. Another school of thought believes that, science and machinery knowledge is more important because, in the modern world, everyone should study of automation to know how to use modern inventions as well their benefits for a comfortable lifestyle. Furthermore, improve knowledge how to use in an appropriate way, because a lot of people are using technology in a wrong way, that's why they are suffering from various diseases, namely; obesity, diabetes and cancer. Many people do sedentary jobs but do not go to the gym for exercise, that is the main reason of these problems. In conclusion, I reckon the study of the past is more important, it helps to know about how tradition, art and mistakes committed by older people. With the help of that education, we can produce good results for future.
Education plays a vital role in every individual's life, regardless of their age, gender and nationality. A segment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claims that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is indispensable subject, it should
be studied
in schools, while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
oppose, that science and technology is
necessarily
subject for academic purpose
rather
than,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. In this essay I intend to delve both arguments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
forming an my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

First
school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
claims that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
topic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of this student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge about our culture and language. This is imperative for pupils they will connect with their roots of culture.
As a result
, they will not follow to western culture, that has a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.
Moreover
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about the mistakes that
were committed
by ancestors and in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's scenario
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not repeat that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
productive results without committing any mistake. Along with this, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, how much struggle
was done
by our freedom fighters for independent country.

For example
, in India I studied the subject of the past during my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of that I came to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about the struggle of freedom fighters and it gives me real motivation.
Also
, understand the value of an independent country.

Another school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
believes that, science and machinery knowledge is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in the modern world, everyone should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
of automation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
modern inventions
as well
their benefits for a comfortable lifestyle.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
knowledge how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Consider replacing "in an appropriate way" with the adverb for "appropriate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an appropriate way
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using technology in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way, that's why they are suffering from various diseases,
namely
; obesity, diabetes and cancer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do sedentary jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not go to the gym for exercise,
that is
the main reason of these problems.

In conclusion
, I reckon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
of the past is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about how tradition, art and mistakes committed by older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of that education, we can produce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results for future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Compare and contrast that the way of life with that of your parents. Which way of life do you think would be more satisfying to future generations? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
352 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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