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Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree. v.9

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. v. 9
I Strongly agree with this statement. Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities and this essay will explore the extent to which I agree with this view. I will furthermore explain three main arguments. These include companies being the most capable to provide facilities as well as the benefit of such facilities for employees. Firstly, since companies undoubtedly have the necessary amount of revenue required to provide such facilities they are the most capable to do so. In addition, they are well suited to sustain such facilities as a result of their experience obtained from operating a company. For Example, 'fitness first' can very easily start a facility. Moreover, this means it is more likely a community can benefit from a facility run by a company as opposed to an individual because they can sustain it. For instance, a company like 'fitness first' would be in more of a capable position to provide the relevant facilities to communities than an average person. Since facilities normally require a large sum of money in order to be constructed, it is more of a responsibility to those with such funds. Furthermore, many companies retain workers to perform tasks that may be stressful or mundane. Although the companies are not obligated to provide facilities for communities, I adamantly believe that them doing so would help in the physical and social health of the people in the community. For instance, those that are employed in the computer programming sector. Companies should thus aim to build facilities in order to promote the well being of people in the community. In conclusion, companies being the most well equipped, are the most capable to provide facilities to communities in order to promote the physical and social well being. Therefore, it is clear that the idea that companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities must be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject and for these reasons it is recommended that companies must provide such facilities to the local communities.
I
Strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
sports and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
facilities for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
and this essay will explore the extent to which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. I will
furthermore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
three main arguments. These include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
being the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capable
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
facilities as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the benefit of such facilities for employees.

Firstly
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
undoubtedly
have the necessary amount of revenue required to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
such facilities they are the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capable
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
In addition
, they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
suited to sustain such facilities
as a result
of their experience obtained from operating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
For Example
, 'fitness
first
' can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a facility.
Moreover
, this means it is more likely a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
can benefit from a facility run by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
as opposed to an individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can sustain it.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
like 'fitness
first
' would be in more of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capable
position to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the relevant facilities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
than an average person. Since facilities
normally
require a large sum of money in order to
be constructed
, it is more of a responsibility to those with such funds.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
retain workers to perform tasks that may be stressful or mundane. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are not obligated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
facilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
, I
adamantly
believe that them doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the physical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
health of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
For instance
, those that
are employed
in the computer programming sector.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
should
thus
aim to build facilities in order to promote the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the community.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
being the most
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well equipped
, are the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capable
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
facilities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
in order to promote the physical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
sports and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
facilities for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be supported
. After thorough analysis on this subject and for these reasons it
is recommended
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
such facilities to the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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