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Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree? v.11

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. v. 11
Nowadays, Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) is one of the significant parts that companies should focus on, many people say that companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. Personally, I strongly agree with this statement. The main reason that companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities is to be recognized from local people. For example, the organizations which support facilities about sports clubs, library, and health care become well-known for population who are going to use these services. Furthermore, this is a best way to promote company brands and their products to society. In addition, it is a method to increase brand loyalty and reduce cost of marketing. Another reason that companies receive from support sports and facilities are improving life quality of their customers. Since we know that help each other is a best way to live together. So, the companies should give their benefits back to society after they received a high income from consumers. Absolutely, providing a good service to society is the best thing that every company can do. Moreover, if people satisfy from company's service, they will have an energy to do a good thing and pass to others again and again. For instance, a person who enjoys spending his or her time in the sport centre always teach others who interest in the same kind of sport. In conclusion, there are a lot of benefits for companies to provide a better facility to their communities. Not only companies, but also everyone can get these advantages.
Nowadays, Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) is one of the significant parts that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should focus on,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and social facilities for local communities.
Personally
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

The main reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and social facilities for local communities is to
be recognized
from local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, the organizations which support facilities about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
clubs, library, and health care become well-known for population who are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these services.
Furthermore
, this is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best way to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
brands and their products to society.
In addition
, it is a method to increase brand loyalty and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
cost of marketing.

Another reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
receive from support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and facilities are improving life quality of their customers.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
we know that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should give their benefits back to society after they received a high income from consumers.
Absolutely
, providing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
service to society is the best thing that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
can do.
Moreover
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
satisfy from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's service, they will have an energy to do a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing and pass to others again and again.
For instance
, a person who enjoys spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
time in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
always teach others who interest in the same kind of sport.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to provide a better facility to their communities. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
these advantages.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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