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In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions v.1

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions v. 1
The usage of private transportation is tremendously increased owing to the development of technology. This essay elucidates the multifarious factors which attribute to these problems and the solutions to resolve it. The reliance on cars for commutation has elevated certainly. The fumes emitted from the vehicles cause a grave issue like air pollution, which is a threat to the environment. Not only that, it may lead to dreadful problems like respiratory disorders, asthma or lung diseases. Furthermore, it has paved a way for the rise of traffic congestion. Because of this issue, the transit time has increased significantly. For instance, people are spending more time on traffic signals and roads even though the distance to the destination is relatively short. On the contrary, we can combat these problems by following some effective measures. Government can provide some percentage of tax exemption for the people who commute by walk, bicycles, buses and trains. As a consequence, the usage of cars will drastically decrease. Can you imagine a city without cars? Though, it is highly impossible to avoid private transportation, it can be alleviated remarkably. New metro lines can be laid to connect all parts of the city. In addition to this, trains and buses should be maintained properly to offer a comfortable journey to the public. For example, air conditioned buses are introduced in metro cities have received appreciation from people. It will foster the individuals to prefer public conveyance over owned cars. To conclude, there are several unanticipated problems caused by over relying on the cars. But it can be mitigated by implementing effective measures by government.
The usage of private transportation is
tremendously
increased owing to the development of technology. This essay elucidates the multifarious factors which attribute to these
problems
and the solutions to resolve it.

The reliance on
cars
for commutation has elevated
certainly
. The fumes emitted from the vehicles cause a grave issue like air pollution, which is a threat to the environment. Not
only
that, it may lead to dreadful
problems
like respiratory disorders, asthma or lung diseases.
Furthermore
, it has paved a way for the rise of traffic congestion.
Because of this
issue, the transit time has increased
significantly
.
For instance
,
people
are spending more time on traffic signals and roads
even though
the distance to the destination is
relatively
short.

On the contrary
, we can combat these
problems
by following
some
effective measures.
Government
can provide
some
percentage of tax exemption for the
people
who commute by walk, bicycles, buses and trains. As a consequence, the usage of
cars
will
drastically
decrease. Can you imagine a city without
cars
? Though, it is
highly
impossible to avoid private transportation, it can
be alleviated
remarkably
. New metro lines can
be laid
to connect all parts of the city.
In addition
to this, trains and buses should
be maintained
properly
to offer a comfortable journey to the public.
For example
,
air conditioned
buses
are introduced
in metro cities have received appreciation from
people
. It will foster the individuals to prefer public conveyance over
owned
cars.

To conclude
, there are several unanticipated
problems
caused by over relying on the
cars
.
But
it can
be mitigated
by implementing effective measures by
government
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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