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Climate change is the biggest threat to our planet. How accurate is this statement? Are there any other big threats to mankind? v.2

Climate change is the biggest threat to our planet. How accurate is this statement? Are there any other big threats to mankind? v. 2
The planet Earths enormous hazard to all society is changes of our atmospheric conditions. This statement is proven fact by many scientists and every individual can relate this issue, as years ago our weather was different, however there are other threats to our planet, as plastic which is related to climate changes all around the world. Climate change is the biggest issue on 21. Century. Scientists started to talk about it since 90’s but nobody did not took it seriously. Manufacture is our main resource and income but it is causing air pollution which leads to a temperature raises and lack of fresh air. Countries who have biggest industries released chemicals in the atmosphere which caused acid rains and green house effect. Diesel cars are used in all around the world which also caused CO2 released in air. For example China where all our products come from, don’t have fresh air anymore. People wearing masks do not inhale toxic air and buying air ballots of fresh air. Plastic is another major issue which is related to global warming. Nowadays you can buy anything which is already packed in plastic containers which leads beaches and forests full of rubbish because people are reckless and throw anything in a nature. Unfortunately this leads to animal species extinct, animals are dying when digesting plastic. In July 2019 there is event called ‘Plastic free July’ to aware people boycotting to use plastic bags, straws, coffee cups etc and use more reusable bags, their own coffee mugs and trying to use alternative ways. In conclusion global warming to our society is major problem because it is caused lack of fresh air, acid rains and temperature raise, however people can also help to improve our environment to not use plastic and find alternative usage.
The planet Earths enormous hazard to all society is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of our atmospheric

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
conditions
. This statement
is proven
fact by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scientists and every individual
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
can


relate this issue, as years ago our weather was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
however
there are other threats

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
our planet, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
which
is related
to climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
all around the world.

Climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is the biggest issue on 21. Century. Scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to talk about
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
it


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
since
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "90s".
90’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nobody did not
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "take"
took
it
seriously
. Manufacture is our main resource
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
and


income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution which leads to a temperature raises and lack of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
. Countries who have
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
industries released chemicals in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
atmosphere


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
caused acid rains and green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
effect. Diesel cars are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in all around
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
world
which
also
caused CO2 released in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
.
For example
China where all our
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
products


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
come
from, don’t have fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
anymore.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
wearing masks do not inhale toxic
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
air


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
ballots of fresh air.

Plastic is another major issue which
is related
to global warming. Nowadays you can
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
buy


anything which is already packed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
containers which leads beaches and forests

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
full
of rubbish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are reckless and throw anything in a nature. Unfortunately

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
leads to animal species extinct, animals are dying when digesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
. In
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
July


2019 there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘Plastic
free July’ to aware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
boycotting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
plastic

bags, straws, coffee cups etc and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more reusable bags, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
coffee mugs and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
trying
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
alternative ways.

In conclusion
global warming to our society is major problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is caused
lack of

fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
, acid rains and temperature raise,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
environment
to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
and find alternative usage.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Climate change is the biggest threat to our planet. How accurate is this statement? Are there any other big threats to mankind? v. 2

Essay
  American English
22 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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