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Many people think that alternative sources of energy should be utilized right now. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Many people think that alternative sources of energy should be utilized right now. v. 3
Since the beginning of the recorded time, people have been exploring natural resources to fulfil their needs. Has it been water, coal to burn fire and cook, crude oil to commute from one place to other, dwellers have been exploring avenues to live in; consequently these are on the verge of annihilation. Apropos of the argument, I am in consummate accord with it and I believe that people should refrain from scavenging and envisage alternative sources. This opinion is surrounded be several arguments as below. To begin with, over exploration of soil is a threat to the environment. In other words, various exploration programs are causing depletion of soil; as a result, it has resulted in numerous global catastrophes. For an instance, as per a report from a renowned coal mining magazine, 60% of the natural catastrophes are taking due to imbalance created by mining. Thus, digging earth for minerals should be prevented as soon as possible. In addition, utilization of coal and crude oil for generation of electricity produces harmful gases. Byproducts after burning coal and crude oil are treacherous, in particular, carbon monoxide, which is the major constituent of swelling global warming. Recently, environment scientists have confirmed in a monthly magazine that human must migrate to renewal energy sources owing to the severe level of poisonous gases such as CO, H2S, HCN in the atmosphere germinated by utilizing fossil fuels. To conclude, extraction of earth must be prevented as soon as possible to alleviate natural disasters due to imbalance is the environment. Likewise, the human must shift their focus to renewal energy to maintain the oxygen level on the earth.
Since the beginning of the recorded time,
people
have been exploring natural resources to fulfil their needs. Has it been water, coal to burn fire and cook, crude oil to commute from one place to other, dwellers have been exploring avenues to
live
in;
consequently
these are on the verge of annihilation. Apropos of the argument, I am in consummate accord with it and I believe that
people
should refrain from scavenging and envisage alternative sources. This opinion
is surrounded
be several arguments as below.

To
begin
with, over exploration of soil is a threat to the environment.
In other words
, various exploration programs are causing depletion of soil;
as a result
, it has resulted in numerous global catastrophes. For an instance, as per a report from a renowned coal mining magazine, 60% of the natural catastrophes are taking due to imbalance created by mining.
Thus
, digging earth for minerals should be
prevented
as
soon
as possible.

In addition
, utilization of coal and crude oil for generation of electricity produces harmful gases. Byproducts after burning coal and crude oil are treacherous,
in particular
, carbon monoxide, which is the major constituent of swelling global warming. Recently, environment scientists have confirmed in a monthly magazine that human
must
migrate to renewal energy sources owing to the severe level of poisonous gases such as CO, H2S,
HCN
in the atmosphere germinated by utilizing fossil fuels.

To conclude
, extraction of earth
must
be
prevented
as
soon
as possible to alleviate natural disasters due to imbalance is the environment.
Likewise
, the human
must
shift their focus to renewal energy to maintain the oxygen level on the earth.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Many people think that alternative sources of energy should be utilized right now. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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