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Climate change is an issue. Do you agree with this? v.4

Climate change is an issue. Do you agree with this? v. 4
The most qualified jobs have the highest salaries in my country, such as medicine because this kind of jobs deal with the most important issues of humans. I think teachers who give classes in primary and secondary schools and also high schools should have had better salaries because they are bringing new generations up. I do not agree with this. Everyone should have enough salary to live with dignity, but some jobs need more effort than others, and they deserve to be rewarded well. It depends on which mood I am on. If I am stressed and want to get relaxed, I prefer soft music, such as classical music. If I want to up my mood, I prefer electronic music or maybe pop music. I mostly like to listen to music when I feel good and have spare time because music is generally about being happy. When you are happy, you listen to music to enjoy yourself more. I used to try to learn how to play the piano, but it started getting harder after a while so I gave up doing so. I don't think all children should learn how to play a musical instrument if they are not eager to do do. Parents shouldn't force children to learn an instrument because It is not good for a child's psychological development. I want to talk about my shopping from the Adidas store. I needed a new pair of slipper because the old one had been torn off. The shop offers a wide range of products, from sports equipment to underwear. The store looks like any store in a mall, but it is relatively large, so you don't feel suffocated when shopped, and also it takes a short time to try a product in fitting rooms because there are enough of them in there. The store is located in a mall which very close to my place so it takes about 20 minutes to go to the store by walk.
The most qualified jobs have the highest salaries in my country, such as medicine
because
this kind of jobs deal with the most
important
issues of humans.

I
think
teachers who give classes in primary and secondary schools and
also
high schools should have had better salaries
because
they are bringing new generations up.

I do not
agree
with this. Everyone should have
enough
salary to
live
with dignity,
but
some
jobs need more effort than others, and they deserve to
be rewarded
well.

It depends on which mood I am on. If I am
stressed
and want to
get
relaxed, I prefer soft
music
, such as classical
music
. If I want to up my mood, I prefer electronic
music
or maybe pop music.

I
mostly
like to listen to
music
when I feel
good
and have spare time
because
music
is
generally
about being happy. When you are happy, you listen to
music
to enjoy yourself more.

I
used
to try to learn how to play the piano,
but
it
started
getting harder after a while
so
I gave up doing
so
.

I don't
think
all children should learn how to play a musical instrument if they are not eager to
do do
. Parents shouldn't force children to learn an instrument
because
It is not
good
for a child's psychological development.

I want to talk about my shopping from the Adidas
store
. I needed a new
pair of slipper
because
the
old
one had
been torn
off. The shop offers a wide range of products, from sports equipment to underwear. The
store
looks like any
store
in a mall,
but
it is
relatively
large,
so
you don't feel suffocated when shopped, and
also
it takes a short time to try a product in fitting rooms
because
there are
enough
of them in there.
The
store
is located
in a mall which
very
close to my place
so
it takes about 20 minutes to go to the
store
by walk.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Climate change is an issue. Do you agree with this? v. 4

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
330 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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