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Which is more important for a leader: the ability to win an argument about an issue, or the ability to help others come to an argument about an issue? Use specific reasons and examples. v.2

Which is more important for a leader: the ability to win an argument about an issue, or the ability to help others come to an argument about an issue? Use specific reasons and examples. v. 2
Many skills are needed for a successful leader. One of the most important skills is the ability to handle arguments. A great leader will be able to make people come to an argument rather than try to win the argument about an issue. I feel this way for many reasons which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, it' s beneficial for the leader himself to guide people until they reach a conviction rather than to force a solution upon the subordinates. Most individuals hate oppression in one way or another. As a result, giving people a degree of freedom would make the leader more liked and people would see her or him as a charismatic character. My own experiece is a compelling example on what I mean. When I started working a new job, my boss was so strict. He used to give me instructions on how to do the job without explaining why exactly I had to do things this way and not in a different sequence. Although most of the time what he told me was the best method to be efficient, I felt intimidated and paranoid. Consequently, I began to take what he said with a grain of salt. Our relationship was not good and I asked to get transferred to another location with the same company. Thus, having sufficient skills and knowledge on how to convince people to do the right thing without making them feeling at a losing position is essential for leadership. Second, a leadership that helps people understand the whole picture first in order for them to come to their own conclusion is vital for a work environment or any other community of people. Employees would feel less stressed in a workplace that value transparency. In addition, informed workers would definitely be more productive than other workers who were just told what to do. More importantly, they would feel as part of the decision making process. Subsequently, a democratic workplace with understanding leaders would be more competitive and innovative. Moreover, trust would be built between management and labor. For instance, I remember my manager from a job in my home town. Whenever he saw me doing something in a wrong or inefficient way, he would always explain all the details to me so I would be able to figure out my won mistake. I always looked up to him and learned from him a lot. To sum up this argument, people would prefer a leader with high communication skills who is capable of ensuring all team members are well-posted with all the decisions the group is taking. In conclusion, an admired leader, who stands beside her or his team making sure they have all the information they need to land on the right spot, is far better than a leader who would challenge other others in an intimidating manner.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are needed
for a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
. One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is the ability to handle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arguments
. A great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
rather
than try to win the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
about an issue. I feel this way for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons which I will explore in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
himself to guide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
until they reach a conviction
rather
than to force a solution upon the subordinates. Most individuals hate oppression in one way or another.
As a result
, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a degree of freedom would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
more liked and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
her or him as a charismatic character. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
experiece
is a compelling example on what I mean. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working a new job, my boss was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
strict. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to give me instructions on how to do the job without explaining why exactly I had to do things this way and not in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sequence. Although most of the time what he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me was the best method to be efficient, I felt intimidated and paranoid.
Consequently
, I began to take what he said with a grain of salt. Our relationship was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and I asked to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
transferred to another location with the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Thus
, having sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and knowledge on how to convince
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do the right thing without making them feeling at a losing position is essential for leadership.

Second, a leadership that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand the whole picture
first
in order for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
conclusion is vital for a work environment or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
community of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Employees would feel less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
in a workplace that value transparency.
In addition
, informed workers would definitely be more productive than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
what to do. More
importantly
, they would feel as part of the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process.
Subsequently
, a democratic workplace with understanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
would be more competitive and innovative.
Moreover
, trust would
be built
between management and labor.
For instance
, I remember my manager from a job in my home town. Whenever he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
me doing something in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
or inefficient way, he would always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
to me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I would be able to figure out my won mistake. I always looked up to him and learned from him a lot. To sum up this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would prefer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
with high communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'skills' should be used.
is
capable of ensuring all team members are well-posted with all the decisions the group is taking.

In conclusion
, an admired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
stands beside her or his team making sure they have all the information they need to land on the right spot, is far better than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
would challenge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
others
Consider replacing "in an intimidating manner" with the adverb for "intimidating"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an intimidating manner
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Which is more important for a leader: the ability to win an argument about an issue, or the ability to help others come to an argument about an issue? Use specific reasons and examples. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
480 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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