Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Climate change is an issue. Do you agree with that? v.1

Climate change is an issue. Do you agree with that? v. 1
I want to talk about the competition I attended when I was in high school. It was a competition about literature. I was nominated by my literature teacher because I was good at it. At the beginning of the competition, I felt stressful because a number of people were watching us, included my literature teacher, and I didn't want my teacher to feel disappointed. At first, questions were easy, but they were getting harder, but subsequently I was able to complete the competition with a success. I came first in the competition within a hair's breadth. Some students are easy to lose interest, and a competition is a good mean to draw students' attention to the subject. Yes, if good students are rewarded, they are less likely to lose motivation, and they can keep studying at the same level. I would say that competition among students and especially among parents is now fiercer than it was once. Now, parents want their children to be almost perfect academically, and they push them hard, so that the competition is harder now. I think by doing intensive training a sport person can improve him/herself rapidly. On the other hand, pushing a body hard in a short period of time can cause physical injuries, body harm. I think it depends on one's character. If one is motivated while in a competition, I would say that competition is a positive for this person, but if the opposite is true for another person, I wouldn't say that competition could help that person. I think it is possible to become too competitive in a sport because a very good result is essential for some sport people, and they are likely to do whatever necessary to reach the result they are asking for.
I want to talk about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
I attended when I was in high school. It was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
about literature. I
was nominated
by my literature teacher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at it. At the beginning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
, I felt stressful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were watching us, included my literature teacher, and I didn't want my teacher to feel disappointed. At
first
, questions were easy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they were getting harder,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
subsequently
I was able to complete the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
with a success. I came
first
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
within a hair's breadth.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
students are easy to lose interest, and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
mean to draw students' attention to the subject.

Yes, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
students
are rewarded
, they are less likely to lose motivation, and they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
studying at the same level.

I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
among students and
especially
among parents is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
fiercer than it was once.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, parents want their children to be almost perfect
academically
, and they push them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
is harder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
by doing intensive training a sport person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
him/herself
rapidly
.
On the other hand
, pushing a body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in a short period of time can cause physical injuries, body harm.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it depends on one's character. If one
is motivated
while in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
, I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for this person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if the opposite is true for another person, I wouldn't say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
that person.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is possible to become too competitive in a sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
result is essential for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and they are likely to do whatever necessary to reach the result they are asking for.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Climate change is an issue. Do you agree with that? v. 1

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
295 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts